The Search...

Perhaps its human to search for the Old in the New. New places, new people, new emotions...we always try to look for familiarities. Memories are like set-points in our life's system and we keep adjusting our life's variables to somehow attain this pre-assigned set-point. 
I know not if this is right or wrong....i don't know if our past should be given so much power...so much power that it can influence our present...i confess i do not know. then again, i presume that this influence varies from person to person.


Perhaps when we search for familiarity in the New we do so to adjust ourselves easily and fit into the New. The New often comes accompanied with the Unknown...so maybe our attempt to fit in and be comfortable is aided by searching for something familiar, something known in the unfamiliar surroundings. This search is perhaps primarily for comfort.


The following is a short note that i'd written in December last year....in a somewhat unfamiliar environment whilst missing a similar place far away in time and place.


A new place...strange familiarity...
As if the old had never left...just changed.
Miles away...
Yet the same feeling...
Familiarity knocks on my door.
Winter winds...a cup of stale coffee...
Miles apart yet similar...
As if the old had never ceased to be... Just changed...




A different junction...a new place...
Yet emotions remain the same...
Eyes search for the same faces, the same voices... But none of them remain...
A change...yes... Only of time n place...
Emotions....they still remain the same.


an attempt at translating the above into bengali (first attempt ever)


sob e natun...natun lagche aj sob
tao jeno sob e lage chena...
jeno purono kichui sesh hoyni...
bodleche, kintu chole jayni...
dur theke durante chole geche...
tobu onubhuti gulor rong paltayeni ajo...
chena sriti jeno aj dakche amay.
sei ek e thanda batash...sei ek e purono coffee...
tobu koto dure...onek dure...
jeno purono kichui sesh hoyni...palteche sudhu...


ek natun more...ek natun jayga...
onubhuti...chetona...ajo sei ek e rokhom...
ami khuje cholechi sei purono sob kichu...sei sob chena mukh...
ja chilo chena seta hariye geche aj...
palte geche onek kichu...
jayga palteche...somoy palteche...
tobu paltayeni sei mon....paltayeni sei onubhutir sporsho.

A Simple Post...some moments n memories

All right...Graduation is over...ok...sort of over...at least the study part is over.
Exams ended on 26th May...so technically that was the last day of undergraduate college life for me...er...ok...for us.
Packed my bags...with Nilu's help (lots n lots of it!!) and returned home on 29th. the Durgapur phase of my life is over. To be honest, i miss hostel more than i miss college. Every morning when i wake up i miss Puja. She used to wake me up each morning and drag me down to the mess for breakfast...i miss wishing Soumee "Good morning" in the bathroom while brushing my teeth... Ah! Soumee used to take suuuuch a long time to brush her's!!
i miss standing by Nilakshi's bed and tickling her to wake her up...
i miss Apurba's dining hall conversations and animated storytelling (cant disclose the stories she used to tell us...ssshhhh)...miss Sayari's "Indi Pindi" song...miss Madhu and her dramatics...miss Preety...miss Hema.... i miss my roommate, Prantika...am so used to having her around me all the time. Am so used to sharing not just my room, but my life...my world...with her. Miss having Amita around...she's the sweetest girl i've ever known. More than the campus...i miss the people there...
i miss the classroom masti n pagalpanti with my classmates...i miss the long long chats with Praveen in the college cafeteria...i miss the Hudco zone, the puchka walas, the roll walas...i miss Ram Mandir...i miss the spcl chai with ilaichi at Bidhannagar market...i miss the bread chop, thanks to Mishra i got to taste it.
The last day at Durgapur was perhaps by far one of my best-est days there...DJ, Kuntal, Puja, Nilakshi and me...the night sky spread above us...the sand beneath us...me singing Rabindrasangeet  ..."Emni korei jaye jodi din jakna..." and the breeze blowing softly around us...Barrage had never been more beautiful...am sure. .....emni korei jaye jodi din...sotti....jakna...
I still remember my first day in Durgapur...had gone there for the AIEEE counselling... and then, before i could even feel time flying by me, it was my last day there...29th...the day my big family, my happy family broke apart...each member moving on in his or her life...leaving the place which was our home for the last four years. but just like a true family...we've silently promised each other a life-long committed...no matter how far away we are...we are connected and shall forever be so...not by blood but by heart.
Have left many things behind...including some memories and some emotions...left them there forever.

Its a bright new morning...a new sunshine...a new beginning. All right, many things don't (often) work out the way we want them to but yes, nevertheless, if they can bring happiness to someone, its worth it. Had got placed in a Delhi based Telecom company...was in two minds but chose to stay in Kolkata...my family needs me here...and with that choice came the decision of doing my MBA from home. Kind of a package deal!

A new Start means a Stop to certain things...it means changes. Am up for it...am up for the challenges...personal, emotional...whatever may they be...am up for it.
These last few months have taught me a lot...the most important one being the importance of happiness.
It's true...you realise the importance of what you had only when you lose it... i learnt how important happiness is only after i lost the very feeling of it. i used to be a happy happy person n now...its been ages since i'd felt it. But we are but mere actors playing our parts...this world is but a stage... Shakespeare had rightly said so. And so...the show must go on... like any actor who puts aside his or her personal loses and diligently performs his or her part...am playing my part...for the show must go on.

well...thats it for today...i'll get back with more updates n articles later!!

Bon Voyage: 1st May 2011

Bon Voyage... 1st May 2011...the day our juniors bid us adieu officially...

some moments from our farewell party!
thank you junies...will miss u all a lot....

these four years were beautiful...friendship...joy...laughter...tears...pagalpanti.... shall miss these days... we are at the very edge now...but we are resolute...shall forever be in touch...*no tears...only smiles*

some penultimate moments...

our last few treats, trips and parties.... of the four beautiful years now only 52 days remain!
lets live them!!  :-)  #college_hostel_life

"yuhi kat jayega safar saath chalne se....k manzil ayegi nazar saath chalne se...."

CHAOS.

CHAOS...
i call for order.... but who pays heed? None.
chaos in my mind....in my heart. Around me...all around i see....chaos.
confusion...disorder...anarchy.
emotions...thoughts...words....entangled! am still searching for a free end. i need to pull them apart.

CARNIVAL...
lights...sounds...music.....melody lost in the cacophony...
lost is all that were ever pleasant to the ears.
i call out...my voice loses iself in the crowd...
i reach out... but find none to hold.

CARE...
all that i may...
i cry out for order...who pays heed? None.
lost are the sights...sounds...n all...all that were ever pleasant to us.
i care....n so i still stay here, rooted to the spot... not swayed by the disorderly crowd... waiting...for the One.

CHAOS.

College...gosh...Final year!!

ohk...its been a really long time since i last bored people by writing rubbish here at my blog!! but friends....am back!!
WBUT is one mad university...they announce exams exactly 14 days before the scheduled starting date and then postpond it so conveniently just 5 days before the commencement of the examinations!! we, poor students of this doomed university, had been anticipating an early semester exam...and had been preparing ourselves mentally (we do not bother to study till the routine is officially published at the website) for the exams since April!! practical exams were conducted in May...n finally theory exams took place in June!!! n that is...like...well...soooo irritating!! #mahafail
all our training and internship plans were jeopardised...and most of us had to rearrange our schedules and re-apply for the various trainings we had been planning to undertake during the summer!! again #mahafail
but finally the ordeal is over...! exams are over...internships n trainings have either begun or will begin shortly....we r all in holiday mood....enjoying our semester break!!

this sem break is perhaps a little different from others. for once...the feeling of having finished another year at college is kinda freaky! we r final year students now...n that is, trust me...the weirdest thing possible!! like, it was just yesterday that we came to college...made friends...got used to hostel life...n now........not even 12 months r left...!! n to top it all, our hostel buildings have been swapped!! guys will now b staying in the girl's hostel building n girls will shift to the guys block.......grrrrrrrrrr.......could things get worse!??!

for me...these 3 years...well....i lost a lot...but i gained more than i could have ever imagined!! dont know how...but i guess somehow this place gave me my reasons for being eternally happy...!!

one more year...final year...campusing... competitive exams...trainings n projects...busy busy year ahead!!

will keep updating...stay tuned...

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

this collage is dedicated to those who gave me a reason to keep smiling in these three years @BCET...without them in my life...BCET wouldnt have been the home that it is to me today. Thank You dears!! 

update

ohk...it'll be grossly unfair to say that i have been thinking a lot about others things and too little about academics these days. its true that numerous others things have been going on in my life...but, academics were never out of my mind. 6th semester is quite important. we've got seminars to prepare for. we have an industrial training to do at the end of this semester, and of course 5 subjects to master before exams come knocking at the door.
been going through several training programs...have selected a few and applied for them. seats are limited almost everywhere...and competition is, needless to say, very very tough. hopefully i'll get selected for training somewhere. wish my dad would let me go out of Kolkata for training. wish he could bring himself to trust my merit a bit more. anyway, that's mere wishful thinking...and should be avoided at all cost.

been thinking a lot about my future...post grad prospectives... Finally, i came  up with several ideas, most of which require hard work and taking loads of chaap. There really is no substitute for hard work...and its very unfortunate that am....er....a bit lazy.

anyway...that is basically my life's update...will again update later!

2009 AD: A look back

its Christmas eve tonight...my first christmas eve without my Grandma....its my first Christmas Eve without a lot of things. but i have a lot more than what i've lost this year. My profits and savings count...not my losses.
still let me elaborate on both.
profit and savings first:
there are some people i need to thank. in fact 4 friends. without them i would have had successfully committed suicide(!!) this year.
Prantika...thank you for making me feel acceptable. i had lost faith in myself...n you know why. thank you for choosing me over others. you are the only person who has made me feel at home in my own room. Thank You.
Anirban...thank you for the very many things that you don't even know that you done for me..n i have no words to explain them to you. Thank you for being my friend and for introducing me to a gem, Praveen.
Praveen....thank you for making me feel happy. i wish i had a brother of my own like you. better still, i wish you were my own younger brother.
Sushmi...thank you, as always...for being by my side and kicking me hard whenever i reach the peak of sanity!! Insanity rocks! Thank you for everything Sush.

the year 2009 was a year of changes...of tears...that were wiped by more than one pair of hands. of joy shared by more than i can count. this was a year of friendship, of love...of bliss...of a happiness i'd long lost touch with.
2009 renewed my faith in life.
this year i am back in form...am my crazy self once again...no hypocrisy...no diplomacy.

few complaints....i would rather let them be. its better to bury them in this year and move ahead. its better not to remember how people you trust can turn selfish and purposefully take away from you what you truly deserve. its better not to remember how someone can shut their door on your face. its better not to knock on their door again. its better not to remember rude remarks from the people you considered friends. its better not to remember how they talk behind your back and apologise to you later only if you somehow get to know about it. its better to forget that they refuse to understand you and the reason why you do certain things. its better to forget if they suddenly avoid you. its better to forget and forgive.
Its Christmas...the season of love n joy. its the festival of giving without expecting to receive...
2010 is just a week away...a new year...its going to be a new beginning.
my prayer this Christmas
"Lord, bless the people around me. make their dreams come true. Bring to them joy, hope and love. Protect them from all harm. If they make a mistake forgive them and help them to forgive others' mistakes. Give them courage to face the truth. Walk with them. Hold their hands when they need You. Bless my friends. bless my family. bless the world. Lord, protect my happiness and its source.
Ahmen"

The 3 Idiots

an evening out with friends followed by a crazy music n adda session with Nilakshi and Apurba on the college stage...with hot coffee and blood thirsty mosquitoes to keep us company...

Another Page from My Diary

29th nov '09


Finally! Finally...I've gathered enough courage today to speak my heart out...uncensored!

well well well...i guess all firsts are precious...
My first home, my first school (Olympus, north kolkata), my first best friends (a boy who had great toys but would never let me touch them, unfortunately i've forgotten his name), Oindrilla...Sushmi. My first day in my first drawing school...my first crush (lasted for a long time!)...my first day in Loreto...
Like all other firsts my first college life (considering that i go for higher studies) is also very special...My first friend in BCET, Puja (met her at WBJEE counselling)...my first day in college and hostel...my first room mate, Nilakshi...my first hostel meal...my first class (physics, NM ma'am)...
 A typical College life is supposed to be fun...dancing around trees, lazying around the campus, bunking classes...being the coolest(or hottest!!) person around...basically typical masala type Bollywood stuff! but in reality its very different. you do get to enjoy life in college (specially if you are away from home) but you also learn a lot.
My biggest lesson was the lesson of adjustment and learning to compromise. I made mistakes...got severely misunderstood and misinterpreted. i got rejected...for being who i am...i was accused of pretending...of being fake. Who in the world wants to be rejected...to prevent it i started pretending!
Gradually this pretence started annoying me...and i actually cut myself off from the others. i was tired of life...of the people around me! i wanted a friend but had none. i was tired of oscillating between my real self and the emotionless, practical Sayani that i'd created within myself to shield myself from the world. the worst...well...my trust was brutally betrayed...beyond repair (or so i had thought at that time).
But i guess every dark cloud does have a silver lining...gradually i started getting back my life. i found friends...some old...and some new. My new friends gave my life a new dimension....a new beginning!
And on 27th Nov '09...i realised that i've fallen in love.Yes...am in love. I'd never though that this would actually happen to me..but yes, am in love. Am not in love with any person...am in love with my life...am in love with this place...am in love with this college...am in love with my friends...i love the green grass that grows here on the campus. i love the glass windows and white walls of the buildings here. i love the chilled wind that blows past me...
am in love.
all my pain has vanished only to be replaced with happiness...though slightly tinged with sorrow. For my days here are numbered...just one and a half years are left...........but yeah! am sure, we, this place and i, will be able to  maintain a successful long distance relationship...
Am sure gonna miss this place and my life here!
guess am getting a bit too emotional...better not let it get better of me...better end this post here.

The Walk to Remember...

It was a long walk up and down the road leading to and from my college...all alone, for the first time. The winter evening was ever so beautiful...
The shops on either side of the road were slowly opening for the evening customers. The most popular road-side shop, the Roll Stall was already preparing the first batch of rolls for the evening! i went up to Roll-kaku, ordered the three rolls I'd been instructed to bring back to the hostel....and continued my walk through the gradually darkening road.
Earlier, in the afternoon, my dad had called to say that my ATM card problem has been solved. So, I decided to check it...and draw out some money as well (fed up of my bankrupt state!!).
So, i began my evening stroll...my favourite music playing on my phone...headphone plugged into my ears....
the starlit blue-gradually-turning-black sky was gladly accompanying me on my walk... and the moon, peeping from behind the shadows...was keeping a watch on me as i enjoyed my lazy stroll.
This place, this road, this college...the last two and a half years of my life...this is now my world. my life now revolves around this place and the people here. My heart used to belong to Kolkata...but now, i've divided it into two...one is in the hustle bustle of the ever-busy City of Joy...the other, in this quite steel city...the place that is so very close to me now. Perhaps its because of the people i've known here and loved. My "college life" is here...the cafeteria adda...the classes...the library....the net lab...the panchvatika...the friends!! everything is here.
two and a half years of my four years here is already over. 2009...another year is coming to a close....and so is my college life............just one and a half years more...after that, i'll never be able to take this walk, there will never be such roll orders...no calls from dad telling me that he's sorted out the ATM problem and no bankrupt me running to the ATM for money(no guarantee for this though)...
life will be different...a lot different from what it is today.

Bloggers Workshop n its after-effects

The event:

Me at the worshop...discussing my blog Sa'matri'yoni

   

The effect:

The workshop's over but the hangover remains. The most obvious after-effect is the curiosity and interest it has generated among the students regarding blogging and the web in general. In the last few days I've come across at least a dozen people who've asked me about the workshop, about blogging and some have even contributed traffic to my blog....yay!! its great to see how successful the Workshop actually was...rather is! And the interest it has generated among students who hadn't even attended the workshop is really commendable.

trust me, it feels great to have been a part of this entire thing!! Just one regret....why are my eyes closed in this pic........?!!?

BCET BLOGGERS WORKSHOP: 31/10/09

It all began with an idea...an idea that was to revolutionise the way BCET thinks...it was an idea that was to pave the way for an association that BCET is going to remember in the years to come. It was the simple idea of bringing together college bloggers under one roof...on a single platform...that transformed into the BCET Bloggers Workshop.

BCET Bloggers workshop was organised on 31st October 2009, in the Management Block of Bengal College of Engineering and Technology, in association with WebReps.in  and Softz Solutions.

And needless to say, it was a huge success!!

We kind of started late...we, the organisers, Anirban (this entire thing is originally his idea), Praveen, me and the others, predictably had a lot of running around to do and yeah...had a lot of phone calls to make as well. Finally, after donating precious phone balance to this noble cause, we started at around 11:30am.

Attendance was good. Students from reputed institutions in as well as outside Durgapur participated with great eagerness and enthusiasm.We discussed blogging, monetizing, tweeting, etc, etc, etc................

And as far as WebReps.in is concerned....they were simply super cool!! The interaction was seriously interactive and fun...it was just awesome...thanks to all the WebReps.in members for making this workshop such a huge success! These guys sure know how to capture and retain the attention and interest of 20-something yr old students!!

Well, all in all...it was a thoroughly enjoyable experience...learnt a lot...had a lot of fun...and yes missed classes, some even missed tests. But seriously, it was all worth it!!

BCETians are Tweeting!

yes...tweeples all over the world...its time to tweet!! BCETians are very trendy...latest news from BCET is that it's tweeting...there are hash tags all over twitter saying #bcetbloggers...its a promotional venture exhibiting the craziness that BCET houses. The unique idea came out from the crazzzziest BCEtian here, Anirban, and was further developed and spread by the rest...hashtagged bcet blogging is spreading all over the virtual world even as we speak now. Its spreading like a pandemic...trust me!! you need evidence...check out here and here
now you believe me?!!
its 4am now...and Anirban and me...we are still tweeting...hashtagging and following people around in the virtual world...
its all part of the Divine plan to unite all the BCET_Bloggers under one roof...er...i mean...blog. this blog has a twitter account and it tweets the latest updates. it gives the virtual world all the updates that we put up on our blogs and the BCET_Bloggers blog.

So catch us live as we blog...follow @bcetbloggers
dont forget the hashtags!!

BCETians are blogging!!

BCET BLOGGERS
Yes...that's the latest blog on the block...er...i mean...blogger!!
Bengal College of Engineering and Technology is now a hideout for a number of bloggers of our country. The latest count shows that total 13 blogs have already registered themselves..and the number is expected to increase with many other students starting their own blogs...and the more there are the merrier it is!! Its somewhat like a movement. It's the movement of being heard. It's the movement of making BCET heard and we, the BCETians, are the voice of BCET!
Do check out this blog...!!

NOTE: If you are a blogger from BCET do visit this blog. If you are a BCETian...do check this blog...you may just want to start one of your own!!