Believe

And so much we could have done,
And so much I did,
The before and after was washed away with the morning tide,
When I faced the Sun and braced the light,
The salt drops on the floor,
The smudges here and there...
Of multitudes forgone, lay the ceiling bare...

Truth beckoned the strength within,
The desire to do more than just begin,
When the days of light cease to live,
All we do is, believe.

Yet another Page from my Diary

"...So much has changed. So much I have lost...so few things remain. 

A life that I had known has now become a stranger to me. I feel like a stranger to myself. 

I feel like expressing myself but I am too scared to let my truth be known. Yes I fear that I will be reprimanded. I shall be rebuked for my changed ways. I shall no longer to accepted for who I am. I am a mutated version of my old self. My value system has changed. I have struggled enough with my mind and heart and have finally brought them together. Though I may be in agreement with my thoughts and actions now...I fear that the people I once knew...the world that I used to belong to will not feel the same way about me and my values. I feel alienated. I feel like everything that was mine...all the people I knew...every bit of my that I had been familiar with for the last 23years...I have left everything behind. I feel lost. I feel alone. I feel like a stranger inside my own mind.  

Everything is so new that I fear to even search for similarities.

The cold wind reminds me of nothing... the sunshine doesn't bring back any memories to me... the rain does not remind me of long forgotten songs. I don't crave for anything...for I have nothing to crave for...everything is lost.

I can go back to the same old places...visit the same old landmarks....but I shall never find myself anywhere. I died.

My mind relentlessly tries to find justifications for all that I have changed and all that I have lost because of these changes in me. 

It was voluntary I suppose. I wanted the pain to stop...perhaps that itself killed the person that I used to be...and created this new me. 

I had acknowledged my pain...lived in it...with it... taken it to all places with me... It had broken me down... I was a pile of bones...with a tiny bit of life left in me... perhaps my Painkillers killed that pain...and with the pain...I lost the little life that was left in me. And that, I think, was the end.
The feeling of not knowing who one is...where one's roots are...who one belongs to... perhaps this is how the wandering souls feel...

I wonder... I wander... ..."

The Truth

Integrate the moments you have lived...you will get your Life!

Differentiate Life...the moments of your Life flash before your eyes.

Tell me...What do you see?

expressing had always been my forte...until....i was convinced to believe that its best to remain silent. Silence is no longer golden. Today, Silence is Strength. 

Your fears, your anguish...your tears... if you express yourself...expressions label you W-E-A-K. 

Funnily enough...even your joy should remain confined within you. Your joy is your's...alone. Why bother others with it!

So what do we do... do we become a social recluse?

No.

We socialise selectively, closely adhering to social protocols.

We behave the way we are expected to behave. We say what is wished to be heard. We do what we are supposed to do. We pretend. 

We are forever confined within our self-imposed norms of expectations. We harness our emotional energy to give birth to a social paradigm which enforces the Law of Lifelessness in living entities.

An expressionless existence...punctured in the heart with a silent silver bullet...

We are doomed to be alone...an individual trapped within his/her own self. We are prisoners of our existence...waiting to be set free from the shackles of Life.

A Divine Gift...we have turned into a self-inflicted curse.

and then...

I close my eyes and differentiate my Life....darkness closes in on me.

A New Me

Life is about changes...so much so that people often say that "change is the only constant"...

Its that time again...
Its time to change.
Darkness beckons me...
and all Light is in vain.

There may be no return...I shall not sway.
I choose to take this path.
The other road, i have travelled much
but have never found a way.

I shall be that part of me...
That which lies somewhere deep.
I'll let my heart unleash its wrath.
yes, I shall take the Dark Path.

Rockstar: My Take

"Ting linga linga lina...
ting linga linga ling...."

"Rockstar"....is much more than what meets the eye. It is the story of Jordan, the Rockstar \m/ .....yet it is more than the rags to riches story of a simple Delhi boy who had always had the dream of being a music sensation.
It is the story of a boy who used to audition relentlessly and face rejection every single time for not having the "zing" or the persona of a Star. It is the story of a boy who was told that the only thing that could make him stand out...make him a true Rockstar...is PAIN. Intense pain. And so...off goes the boy...in search of the same.
And then...one day, the Rockstar breaks down...

This fame, this success...i don't want any of it. Just don't let my heart break...please... he pleads.

"...Katiya karoon Katiya karoon
Tera roo katiya karoon
 Tera roo tera roo tera roo roo roo..."

Rockstar is a love story...enveloped in the tale of the meteoric rise of a music sensation.
This movie explores love in a different way altogether.
Janardhan Jakhar, a simple Delhi boy, fishing for a heartbreak...which according to his mentor is the only way to become a true-blue Rockstar like his idol Jim Morrison...is drawn towards the beautiful sophisticated and curious Heer.

Friendship takes a deep plunge and transforms companionship into love.
Circumstances drift them apart...and it is again these circumstances that bring them together...only to part them yet again...
Eventually his love for Heer breaks him apart...completely.

Jordan evolves... "The unshaven, troubled, defiant, long-haired music sensation with a peculiar, rustic wardrobe, the making of Janardhan Jakhar to Jordan is an offshoot of his fickle equation with the woman he loves."

He had once expressed his amazement as to why an entire crowd applauded Morrison when he raised his middle finger in public.... and then one day, he, himself, raises his finger and proclaims....

"...Sadda Haq Aithe Rakh..."

This is a story of transformation through the experience of pain. Pain may not be a welcome emotion. Yet it is a part of our existence. Some perceive it to the extent of making it their life...while some live though it all and try to look at the sunshine rather than the clouds in the sky.
Jordan looks at the clouds. Perhaps he is too emotional...perhaps he is too sensitive. From a boy who had never had the chance to worry about his basic necessities...had a family...a life... Janardhan seeks out pain and lives it to be successful. In the end his success eats him up...his pain gnaws him from inside...and he says..
am not happy inside...ander ek jalan si hai...

It is neither a standalone story about the rise-of-an-underdog who goes on to become one of the  biggest rockstars ever nor is it merely a love story with a rockstar backdrop. The director somewhere attempts to correlate the rockstar's rise with his romance. There is a constant play in the narrative which moves backwards then forwards then again backward and finally stops in the present. The first half opens on a very high note... and the film ends with the same sequence. But this time its a different note...there is an overtone of sadness, of pain...of loss...

There is a sense of a desire for reconciliation with one's true identity. There is a sense of the desire for true happiness. There is a sense of a desire for love that is slipping away with every heartbeat.
Jordan sings...
"O Nadaan Parindey ghar aaja
O Nadaan Parindey ghar aaja"

The director, Imtiaz Ali, tells a story of love, loss, pain and treacherous success in an intricate way. The storytelling is crisp. Anil Mehta's cinematography is brilliant. And, needless to say, A.R. Rahman's music gives the movie its life. The storytelling could have been a little less intricate. It does add to the brisk movement of the movie in the first half but somewhat makes the second half stretch a bit. But the overall effect is impressive.
Ranbir has done complete justice to Jordan...he has performed brilliantly. A true Rockstar! New-comer  Nargis Fakhri has great screen presence and Shammi Kapoor is the surprise element of the film.

The end comes just as you start wondering as to how the director plans to end it. The end is completely justified. It has a sense of incompleteness...just the way Jordan's life is...incomplete...

The movie is a simple tale of success...which is rendered useless in the absence of love...in the absence of true happiness....
...andar ek jalan si hai...


"Jo bhi main...
kehna chahu...
bardaad kare...alfaz mere.... alfaz mere......."

Knowing me

Don't look at me. Look into my eyes. I am not who you think I am. 

I appear to be the way you want me to be...but take a look inside...I am not who I appear as.

In the glow of the Reflection...

A Self is lost.

Under the cover of existence...

Life struggles to live.

And,

In the chaos of Life...

Identity dies a premature death.

Take a look at the person in the mirror...

Is it you? 

Is it the same person who talks to you when you are alone? Is this the person that you invariably entrust with all your secrets? Is this the person who knows your dreams...even sees them with you? 

Or is it the person that the World sees in you...

I ask you...again...is it you?

A sky...as dark as darkness could have made it...

A moon...as bright as light could have made it...

Its a still night...

And a silent shadow hovers near me...

The Shadow of the me that i was...

The Shadow of the me that i wanted to be...

A Shadow is all that remains...

It is all that was ever true...

It is all that could have been true...

I move ...the Shadow follows...

A constant reminder of life's probable possibilities...

The only thing that remains...and is mine...

n will forever be so...

Is my shadow

My shadow is how I see myself...without a mirror...through my own eyes.

The mirror reflection is the me you see...

my shadow is my Truth

...and it follows me.

Let there be Light!

Deepawali...a festival of Light...of colours...of burning away the Darkness....

Diwali is about rediscovering Life within one's own self. It is the festival of a personal Enlightenment. It is a celebration of victory...the victory of reconciliation with one's own self. 

This Diwali....give your Life a single minute...

Your Life deserves meaning... 

go ahead... smile an extra smile...make someone happy...

go an extra mile...give your Life a chance to breath... It is your Life...live it.

Brightness beckons you... midst the Darkness... embrace the warmth of Life...let it glow...

Make mistakes...make wrong choices....learn the right way... give yourself a chance to be imperfect... Life will become so much more perfect. 

Cry till your eyes ache...n feel the happiness gush through your veins. Nothing is as important as happiness.....let it fill your Life...let it fill you. Its in your heart...let it flow.

Celebrate Life....its a Festival.... it has chaos and mayhem...it has music n rhymes... it has mirth n joy...

brace the darkness only to dispense it with your Inner Light. Yes...the Light is within you...feel it....find it...share it. Let the world glow in your Light.

HAPPY DIWALI!! :)

Iti Mrinalini

All movies do not make me feel like writing about them...very few do. And Iti Mrinalini makes me want to....i dont know if my words can ever do this piece of art justice... but still...i wish to talk about it and so i will.
Should i write a review or should i just write about what i felt when i saw the movie?

so...i'll just combine the two, the review and my feelings on watching Iti Mrinalini.

The letter remained unfinished. The recapitulation of one's life with just hours left to live...leading to the ultimate realisation that in spite of how the life had been, it is your life. You may have not had the things you had wanted so dearly but you do have someone or something to live for... and the very realisation infuses in you the love for Life and makes you embrace Life...even at the darkest hour you know that you are very close to the dawn. BUT...you never know when Life may take away your chance to live. Uninvited, untimely...maybe just when you have grasped the true worth of your Life...you may have to stop living... you may have to leave...leaving the Letter...your Life, unfinished. ....Iti Mrinalini.

Iti Mrinalini is a riot of colours. The colours of human emotions. The beautiful cinematography gives Life to Mrinalini's reminiscence. Somak Mukherjee has brought the 60s and 70s era alive with his brilliant cinematography. His work deserves special mention...Mrinalini's life is incomplete without his cinematography. Somak gives Mrinalini's mind's eye it's sight.

The music gives the movie its Soul. Debajyoti Mishra's music has played along the lines of Mrinalini's life...recreating the phases that she went through. Sunil Gangopadhyay's poem Smritir Shohor has been beautifully used as the theme. The closer we come to Mrinalini the more relevant the lyrics become.

The strong story and powerful performances override the fact that the movie is slightly lengthy. Konkona plays the younger Mrinalini while her mother Aparna Sen plays the older Mrinalini. Young Mrinalini wants to live life. She has dreams...she has hope...and she has love. The older Mrinalini is broken. She is lost in the darkness of the Night. The pain, hurt and loss...the experiences of life is seen clearly in her eyes. That one night of insufferable anguish that ended in a dawn is the story of Mrinalini. Her life through her own eyes...hours from her death. A death that she had not planned...a death that stopped her midway...and as she fell...she was perhaps trying to embrace life in those early hours of dawn.

The film explores Love, in all its different forms. One that is lively, happy, carefree... one that's more domestic... the love of a mother...and then a kind of love that falls somewhere between friendship and love, and then...one resulting out of loneliness and seclusion.
It is the Love that has no expectations...no bondages...the love that frees you...it is that Love that we must look for and live for... it was this Love that ushered the dawn after the gloomy Night... two simple words that spoke of assurance, care and love "Ami aschi" ("I'm coming")...it were these words that made Minnie smile...a smile that was real, not a result of sad recollections but a genuine smile of hope and love.

The other actors, namely, Rajat Kapoor, Priyanshu Chatterjee, Koushik Sen, have all done a brilliant job by supporting Aparna Sen to create Mrinalini's world.

Mrinalini is more than a character...she is perhaps Life itself...
...and this movie "Iti Mrinalini" is about the unfinished story of Life...

Bon Voyage: 1st May 2011

Bon Voyage... 1st May 2011...the day our juniors bid us adieu officially...

some moments from our farewell party!
thank you junies...will miss u all a lot....

these four years were beautiful...friendship...joy...laughter...tears...pagalpanti.... shall miss these days... we are at the very edge now...but we are resolute...shall forever be in touch...*no tears...only smiles*

a story and a few questions

Once upon a time, there was a Someone. let us assume that this Someone was a "he".
he wanted to make it big in the world...he wanted to be reckoned with...and most of all he wanted a Name.
A Name that would be his own. A Name that would give him an identity...all he desired was individuality.
He loved to write. He was good at it. Infact, so much so that a few of his writings found place in some of the best editorials in the country. But then...he did not become a writer. he realised that writing will not be able to bring to him the name and the fame that he desired. he left this life...he left his love. He went away in search of Gold. the Gold Rush was on. and he worked tirelessly for his prize. all day he searched for the Gold...and at nights he sat planning his next move. which way down the hill is the Gold mine...which way? He was hardworking. and he kept trying. he searched the entire land...the whole territory. he tried several means to get to his Gold. he put in tireless effort...at times he would feel that this was not meant for him...this was not what his life was meant to be. this was not what he was meant to be. but he remained focussed on his goal. and then one day...he found his prize. the Gold lay gleaming before his eyes. he bent down to pick it up. in his hands the Gold shone like the Sun...he had emerged victorious. he was happy.


then he returned... with hopes and dreams of starting afresh. he started writing again but....his time was now gone. he had quit his destiny is search of something that was not meant for him. he had left keeping his love and life at stake...hoping that it will stay till he returned. he had left his life the day he had begun his quest...and when he returned...all was lost. his pen still carved letters but in his poetry...the rhyme was lost. papers lay stacked on the table...most of them untouched. whatever he wrote he felt that it was not upto the mark. he scratched out line after line...word after word... till he realised what all he had lost.
The Gold remained...locked safely in the locker...and the floor remained scattered with torn pieces of paper. the words that did not rhyme anymore...and the sentences all refused to make sense.


but there was his Gold...gleaming...bright...lustrous. his prize.
he was sitting at the foot of his bed...his pen in his hand...



the above story is based on an observation by a friend who had said... "Good time will come...one day you will be free from all hardships and all pain...but am afraid, maybe by that time a lot may be already lost..."
the statement made can be interpreted in many ways.
Failed personal dreams in attempts to live up to the expectations of the World. 
It may even be applicable in cases of failed relationships.
it may be true in several cases.


Where is the balance in life? Is life not worth taking risks with? some risks may be too costly though... but then where's the fun without some excitement, some adventure? is adventure necessary at the stake of everything we love and everyone we care for? can we not come to a balance? are extremes necessary?


so many questions...
answers...i know none.


lemme ask YOU.....what do you think?

(....Idea by Avishek Roy )

a thought...a fear...and a wish

something strange has happened to me...something that i had not anticipated... n it happened rendering me expressionless...like never before. I dont know if my words are eloquent enough...i just wish to put this feeling aside and move on with life. am just, how do you say it...oh yes...spitting it out.

i had felt this way just once before in my life... at the school fest when i was barely 5yrs old. i had been holding onto my mother's hand...and suddenly she wasn't there. the fear...the panic...the emotions that had flooded my mind at that moment... the wish to scream out...call out to my mother... the urgent wish to be found... the desperation to hold my mom's hand again... to find my way back to safety... to find my way back into the world that promised solace... 

i've been feeling the same way lately. 

the irony is that am at home. my mom is here, with me...near me...ready to take me into her arms... then why...

why am i feeling this way? where is my world of solace...where?

i am not sure why am suddenly feeling this way. its strange...its weird...infact its very very unlike me to be so overwhelmed with emotions. very rarely do these things called emotions hijack my mind and heart this way...very rarely. and yet...now, its all there...overwhelming me...my entire thought process...over-ruling all logic and reason...

i wish i could comfort myself...give myself the peace that my heart is longing for...but... i have tried, and failed. i wish to find my world of peace...my world of solace. i need it just the way i need to breath to live... i need it to survive... i need to find it...to save myself. 

                                  -------------------------------------

maybe i feel this way for you. maybe it is you who am longing for. in my own strange way...maybe i perceive u as more of a parent to me than a friend. or perhaps, its just my strong desire to have you by my side...just that. there is no need to have any words between us... in any case i am not eloquent enough these days. and there is no need for you to talk. just be there...by my side. lets just walk together...side by side.

i wish to be a part, a happy part of your world... in silence shall i be if you would just let me in.

i may not have been the way you had wanted me to be...and you may want to leave. i pray, stay. 
if this was how it was going to be...why had you come at all? say? 

now that you are here, like a true friend, respect me...accept me with my faults.

i may not be perfect but i still am the same person you had know. 
the smiles the joys that we had shared were neither yours nor mine alone. 

A Page from my Friend's Diary.

Some emotions rarely find words to express themselves. some thoughts remain hidden under the misty veil of doubt... some hopes remain wishes...unfulfilled. some dreams are forever lost...
to love and to be loved...this every soul desires.
never lost...love remains....unexpressed...somewhere deep within...veiled by practicality...
situations change...conditions alter...but emotions and feelings...they remain...perhaps shrouded....but yes they do remain.
latent...unperceived...untouched...they remain.

tears speak...they scream out the pain that lies within...the pain of having lost that one Love that had been yours... silent tears....and a few words...

"Today i've every reason to be happy.
Today i've a reason to smile,
Today i dont have to hide,
Today its me...only me,
Today i have the things i've always envied,
Today life is simple...more than ever before,
Today i dont have the right...to miss you from my core,
Today i'm completely rich.
........
The only things missing are my happiness and peace..."

                                                     ~~~ a page borrowed from my Friend's Diary.

College...gosh...Final year!!

ohk...its been a really long time since i last bored people by writing rubbish here at my blog!! but friends....am back!!
WBUT is one mad university...they announce exams exactly 14 days before the scheduled starting date and then postpond it so conveniently just 5 days before the commencement of the examinations!! we, poor students of this doomed university, had been anticipating an early semester exam...and had been preparing ourselves mentally (we do not bother to study till the routine is officially published at the website) for the exams since April!! practical exams were conducted in May...n finally theory exams took place in June!!! n that is...like...well...soooo irritating!! #mahafail
all our training and internship plans were jeopardised...and most of us had to rearrange our schedules and re-apply for the various trainings we had been planning to undertake during the summer!! again #mahafail
but finally the ordeal is over...! exams are over...internships n trainings have either begun or will begin shortly....we r all in holiday mood....enjoying our semester break!!

this sem break is perhaps a little different from others. for once...the feeling of having finished another year at college is kinda freaky! we r final year students now...n that is, trust me...the weirdest thing possible!! like, it was just yesterday that we came to college...made friends...got used to hostel life...n now........not even 12 months r left...!! n to top it all, our hostel buildings have been swapped!! guys will now b staying in the girl's hostel building n girls will shift to the guys block.......grrrrrrrrrr.......could things get worse!??!

for me...these 3 years...well....i lost a lot...but i gained more than i could have ever imagined!! dont know how...but i guess somehow this place gave me my reasons for being eternally happy...!!

one more year...final year...campusing... competitive exams...trainings n projects...busy busy year ahead!!

will keep updating...stay tuned...

Kolkata: my homely project!!

Recently I had been asked to prepare a presentation as a College project. After hours of thinking i finally selected the topic suggested by my friend Nilakshi. According to her we should select topics close to our heart. So, I finally settled for the topic "Kolkata"...what better than my home sweet home...

Thank you Kolkata for being my Home and being the topic of my College project. Where would i be without you!!??

Ohk...here's a short summary of the project i finally made...

I called it "Kolkata: a City in transition...a journey from Kalikata to Calcutta...to Kolkata"

This project shows the changing face of the city over the years...right from the British Era to the present Metropolitan City.

Two major aspects of the city have been highlighted here:

• the identity of the City as the Cultural Capital of India.
• the socio-cultural life of the City

These two aspects have been focussed upon because:

• any change that creeps into a city so culturally rich is bound to get reflected in the culture of the City
• "a city is what its people make it..." so obviously the changes will be evident in the life of the citizens

hence the socio-cultural references.

This project is a tribute to the City that gave India her first martyr of the Struggle for Independence, Khudiram...its a tribute to the City that was home to the first Nobel Laureate of our country, Rabindranath Tagore...its the city of the first Modern Man of India, Raja Ram Mohan Roy...Netaji, Vidyasagar,Vivekananda, Mother Teresa....n so many others...

Excerpts from the project:

"It is believed that India as a whole did not witness Renaissance...but Bengal did, and Calcutta was the centre.  The growth of the Bengali Intelligentsia due to the introduction of Western Education in India under the initiative of men like Raja Rammohan Roy led to an intellectual awakening...popularly known as the Bengal Renaissance..."

"The existence of a distinct duality in the City is evident through the ages. Be it the Babu culture (a group of Bengali intellectuals who though Indian by blood were British in nature) or the Bongs (the globalised/westernised Bengalis)...be it the intellectuals or the modernists...a distinct duality persists."

"Penurious...prosperous...progressive...

a culmination of diversities...

a harmonious coexistence of deep rooted culture and modernisation...

that's the city for you...

Welcome to Kolkata" 

"Kolkata Kolkata dont worry Kolkata...amra tomari Kolkata..........tumi je naya Kolkata..." ~Usha Uthup

phir milenge chalte chalte...

hostel farewell '10 (23rd april), originally uploaded by SayaniMukherjee.

Hostel Farewell...Yaadein '10...the day was 23rd April...... it was a grand event...n we made sure that there were mostly smiles around...just a few tears... music, dance, masti, food...games...the Ms. KCGH competition...the early morning group photo sessions....

the party ended at around 6am the next morning...the seniors were all happy...there were smiles all around...
we, the pre-final years, were in tears... will miss them all....n will miss each other after one year. its our turn next...its our farewell next year...

Confessions of a Confused Mind

Life is so weird. I mean...look at it. It gives you immense joy and then suddenly threatens to take it all away. You win a match and then lose the very next...and all the bounty you had managed to collect...is gone in a jiffy!! Its a tiring game...too many obstacles, face offs, challenges and no cheat codes. Damn, am a pathetic player!!


The last few months were just too tiring for me...emotionally! For a person like me...emotions are a rare thing. But when they come...they flood the mind...unlock the gates of my self and break into my very system... Destroying my peace of mind...unsettling me temporarily, or so i thought. Certain feelings and emotions are very powerful. They are capable of unsettling minds permanently. And i'm afraid, i guess, that's the case with me.


Emotions that i had never known earlier...aliens emotions...invaded my mind...my heart...and my soul. These alien emotions kind of gave me a brand new identity. An identity that i could hardly relate to myself. I was happy...perhaps i am more or less still happy. The happiness is inexplicable...perhaps its bliss. But a certain sadness pervades... Why? How can profound happiness be accompanied by such pain. I do not understand. The pain is at times unbearable... All methods that a practical person may apply to control and check one's emotions have already failed me. Am I on the verge of insanity?  


Everything i had ever loved and cared for have now evaporated leaving behind nothing but residue of memories... I loved to write. But now expressions fail me. Music was my life...melody now evades me... But why?
I'm scared of losing everything that i have....all that i truly Love. I'm perhaps too possessive of my own Happiness...

I need to get back on my feet. I should stop expecting...Expectations hurt. I should stop waiting...I cannot wait for eternity... i should try to get back my bearings and start walking again...along a known path. I'm scared of walking alone...i don't want to lose myself in lonely deserted roads...its scary. I will follow the known path...will try to walk by myself again.

i had wanted...

time was not with me...
or perhaps the time was yours.

i had wanted to say so many things to you.
i had wanted to laugh once more.
i had wanted to remember those walks...
through the sunset in the busy city streets.
i had wanted to remember your smile...
i had wanted to hear you speak to me.
i would have had loved to watch you when you talked.
i had wanted to feel you...the warmth of your presence...
the feel of your touch.

its the same street today...the same sunset.
but this time, the time is mine.
i'm walking still...but walking alone.
no regrets...no wishes...no desire to know...
all i know is that i'm alive and i'm living...
you are somewhere, happy in your world.
perhaps, i dont remember you anymore.

-----------------

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

this collage is dedicated to those who gave me a reason to keep smiling in these three years @BCET...without them in my life...BCET wouldnt have been the home that it is to me today. Thank You dears!! 

Blissful Pain

A turbulence…an eerie silence amidst the storm…the eye.

Chaste.

A wait so long that time crawls slower than the breath escaping from the Soul…escaping to Eternity.

An infinite length of dark expanse…waiting…......no awaiting… desiring those that are not one’s own.

Burdened by Love…Despair strikes.

The sky swims in a blood red pool. 

Red? Perhaps the colour of Love… or perhaps the hue of the irreparable loss that gnaws the heart. Twisting the muscles so that every drop is wasted…and lost. A pain so pure that all Powers surrender to it.

It is cruel enough to engage you in a blissful delirium…senses are lost to emotions...perhaps forever. It never subsides 

and yet you smile.

3rd Feb 2010: Happy Birthday to me!

ohk....it was my 21st birthday on 3rd Feb. I was initially quite apprehensive about turning 21...but the fun i had during the day convinced me that turning 21 isnt that bad (n sad!) after all!!

I was in for a lot of surprises. In fact surprises unravelled all through the day. Each one putting a smile bigger than the previous one on my face!! 

The Angelic mug...gift-wrapped bhai(!!)...chocolate coated munch-cake...biscuit-with-jam midnight cake...my "birthday-wali maggi"...the innumerable birthday wishes...loooooong list..........

and the Grand Finale was the grand(!!) party in the Cafeteria. 

Thanks to all my friends for making me feel so special! Thank You! 

Here are my bday cakes...njoy!!

MY TWIN BIRTHDAY CAKES.....

wondering about the "3"...its the addition of the two numbers 2 n 1...