Monday, November 14, 2011

The Last One...


some things remain incomplete forever.... perhaps they are meant to be that way... and we have to accept them as such...

the uneasy feeling of incompleteness gnaws our soul...we burn inside in the fire of the desire to be complete again...a desire than can never come true...a wish that is destined to remain unfulfilled forever....
...n still try to be happy...try to live...hoping that some day peace would descend on us...someday our prayers will be answered.

...and then one day....life becomes irrelevant....and the prayer changes...the wish changes....

.....My Prayer...My Last Wish...

".....bring me closer to the End
take me closer to you...
End my pain...

In those last few moments of Life...
I shall find peace...solace...
My wings shall be reborn...
N i shall fly...
Free.
In those last few moments....
I shall find
Me.

I will smile one last smile...
The one smile in so many years...
N the world shall smile at me...
Contentment...on its face.

I shall care no more..
No worldly treasures can touch me again...
I shall be at peace...

In my last breath i shall smile...for
I shall be forever free....
with You near me...

Take me closer to You...
Take me closer to my peace...
Take me closer to the End."


Friday, November 11, 2011

Rockstar: My Take




"Ting linga linga lina...
ting linga linga ling...."




"Rockstar"....is much more than what meets the eye. It is the story of Jordan, the Rockstar \m/ .....yet it is more than the rags to riches story of a simple Delhi boy who had always had the dream of being a music sensation.
It is the story of a boy who used to audition relentlessly and face rejection every single time for not having the "zing" or the persona of a Star. It is the story of a boy who was told that the only thing that could make him stand out...make him a true Rockstar...is PAIN. Intense pain. And so...off goes the boy...in search of the same.
And then...one day, the Rockstar breaks down...

This fame, this success...i don't want any of it. Just don't let my heart break...please... he pleads.

"...Katiya karoon Katiya karoon
Tera roo katiya karoon
 Tera roo tera roo tera roo roo roo..."

Rockstar is a love story...enveloped in the tale of the meteoric rise of a music sensation.
This movie explores love in a different way altogether.
Janardhan Jakhar, a simple Delhi boy, fishing for a heartbreak...which according to his mentor is the only way to become a true-blue Rockstar like his idol Jim Morrison...is drawn towards the beautiful sophisticated and curious Heer.

Friendship takes a deep plunge and transforms companionship into love.
Circumstances drift them apart...and it is again these circumstances that bring them together...only to part them yet again...
Eventually his love for Heer breaks him apart...completely.

Jordan evolves... "The unshaven, troubled, defiant, long-haired music sensation with a peculiar, rustic wardrobe, the making of Janardhan Jakhar to Jordan is an offshoot of his fickle equation with the woman he loves."

He had once expressed his amazement as to why an entire crowd applauded Morrison when he raised his middle finger in public.... and then one day, he, himself, raises his finger and proclaims....

"...Sadda Haq Aithe Rakh..."

This is a story of transformation through the experience of pain. Pain may not be a welcome emotion. Yet it is a part of our existence. Some perceive it to the extent of making it their life...while some live though it all and try to look at the sunshine rather than the clouds in the sky.
Jordan looks at the clouds. Perhaps he is too emotional...perhaps he is too sensitive. From a boy who had never had the chance to worry about his basic necessities...had a family...a life... Janardhan seeks out pain and lives it to be successful. In the end his success eats him up...his pain gnaws him from inside...and he says..
am not happy inside...ander ek jalan si hai...

It is neither a standalone story about the rise-of-an-underdog who goes on to become one of the  biggest rockstars ever nor is it merely a love story with a rockstar backdrop. The director somewhere attempts to correlate the rockstar's rise with his romance. There is a constant play in the narrative which moves backwards then forwards then again backward and finally stops in the present. The first half opens on a very high note... and the film ends with the same sequence. But this time its a different note...there is an overtone of sadness, of pain...of loss...

There is a sense of a desire for reconciliation with one's true identity. There is a sense of the desire for true happiness. There is a sense of a desire for love that is slipping away with every heartbeat.
Jordan sings...
"O Nadaan Parindey ghar aaja
O Nadaan Parindey ghar aaja"

The director, Imtiaz Ali, tells a story of love, loss, pain and treacherous success in an intricate way. The storytelling is crisp. Anil Mehta's cinematography is brilliant. And, needless to say, A.R. Rahman's music gives the movie its life. The storytelling could have been a little less intricate. It does add to the brisk movement of the movie in the first half but somewhat makes the second half stretch a bit. But the overall effect is impressive.
Ranbir has done complete justice to Jordan...he has performed brilliantly. A true Rockstar! New-comer  Nargis Fakhri has great screen presence and Shammi Kapoor is the surprise element of the film.

The end comes just as you start wondering as to how the director plans to end it. The end is completely justified. It has a sense of incompleteness...just the way Jordan's life is...incomplete...

The movie is a simple tale of success...which is rendered useless in the absence of love...in the absence of true happiness....
...andar ek jalan si hai...


"Jo bhi main...
kehna chahu...
bardaad kare...alfaz mere.... alfaz mere......."


Sunday, November 6, 2011

Knowing me


Don't look at me. Look into my eyes. I am not who you think I am. 
I appear to be the way you want me to be...but take a look inside...I am not who I appear as.

In the glow of the Reflection...
A Self is lost.
Under the cover of existence...
Life struggles to live.
And,
In the chaos of Life...
Identity dies a premature death.


Take a look at the person in the mirror...
Is it you? 
Is it the same person who talks to you when you are alone? Is this the person that you invariably entrust with all your secrets? Is this the person who knows your dreams...even sees them with you? 
Or is it the person that the World sees in you...
I ask you...again...is it you?


A sky...as dark as darkness could have made it...
A moon...as bright as light could have made it...
Its a still night...
And a silent shadow hovers near me...
The Shadow of the me that i was...
The Shadow of the me that i wanted to be...

A Shadow is all that remains...
It is all that was ever true...
It is all that could have been true...

I move ...the Shadow follows...
A constant reminder of life's probable possibilities...
The only thing that remains...and is mine...
n will forever be so...
Is my shadow

My shadow is how I see myself...without a mirror...through my own eyes.
The mirror reflection is the me you see...
my shadow is my Truth
...and it follows me.


Clockwork

To be able to reach out. To want to know. Somewhere lost in the crowd. Alone and scared. Looking for a way to make it seem worth the whil...