Sunday, November 10, 2013

Our Story Sets us Apart


Yes I've heard about you...
come here, sit by my side...
Why don't you tell me the story behind your smile,
Tell me your tale...and I, my Friend, will tell you mine.
yes...everyone has a story, 
something that they call their own,
Everyone has a reason for being who they are...
Its a voice from within that seems to come from afar.
Everyone has a secret...no matter how small...forever untold.
Everyone has a personal Sunshine...a Black Cloud and a Silver Line...
Everyone has driven down one-way roads and have met dead-ends well defined.
At least one bossom friend, we all have to save our back...
At least one foe to drown us in misery and set us off the safe and sound track.
Someone must have changed your life...
...Someone must have loved you back...
Somewhere someone must have brought to you an unexpected smile...
somehow somewhere something must have been denied...
Some dreams unfulfilled...
some songs unsung...
some reason why your heart was broken...
and in your eyes had tears stung.
Everyone has a story...a reason why they lived...
A story so precious that we hold it close to our heart...
hidden from prying eyes...
And it is this...our story...
our story sets us all apart.

A Canvas on the Show


I stood there, numb with pain.
Had I Blood, it would have drenched me...
Had I Voice, it would have cried out by now...
Yet I stood there, still, numb.
I was a beautiful moonlit evening...waves crashing against the shore,
Two love struck stars falling from the sky 
Had paid a priceless visit to me.
I felt so alive in the slivery light 
That the moon, the stars and the sea had cast...
I was so proud just to be.
They all said I was beautiful...spell binding, they exclaimed.
Some desired me...some just admired.
I was a piece of Life captured in a frame...
I loved my hue,
And I loved being Midnight Blue.
Then one day, he came...
He had come for me, I know...
Held me in his arms...so close to his chest
I could almost feel his heart beat for me.
He took me back to his abode,
I was to be his forever, I hoped.

I looked at him with my silent eyes...
Bestowed on him my silver light...
I gave my beauty, my serenity, my love to him...
All that I ever could.
I was his and he was all I had.
But there was someone else too...
Someone beyond my comprehension...
Someone who loved him more...cared more...
Hurt more too...
She had been there when he first met me...
I had seen her approval glance...
Perhaps she loved me too...
But did I care, No.
And then one evening...
The world around me fell apart.
I heard them speak...
There was more noise than all words rioting together can make...
Some storm it was, a storm of love and rage.
Things fell...hearts broke...in Fate's single stroke.
In such anger towards me he came...
And drove his broken heart throught mine. 
He tore open my canvas frame...
Till the stars and the moon all ceased to shine.
I cried out...but in vain...
For I had no voice that could reach his ears.
The gashes on my soul opened wide,
And Midnight Blue I bled in pain.
They moved me...I saw him no more...
They treated me well...and patched me up...
They said I looked as good as new...
They put me up again...a canvas on the show

They said I was pretty but they exclaimed no more...
I was now bruised beyond beauty...
...Just another canvas on the show...

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Yet another Page from my Diary

"...So much has changed. So much I have lost...so few things remain. 
A life that I had known has now become a stranger to me. I feel like a stranger to myself. 
I feel like expressing myself but I am too scared to let my truth be known. Yes I fear that I will be reprimanded. I shall be rebuked for my changed ways. I shall no longer to accepted for who I am. I am a mutated version of my old self. My value system has changed. I have struggled enough with my mind and heart and have finally brought them together. Though I may be in agreement with my thoughts and actions now...I fear that the people I once knew...the world that I used to belong to will not feel the same way about me and my values. I feel alienated. I feel like everything that was mine...all the people I knew...every bit of my that I had been familiar with for the last 23years...I have left everything behind. I feel lost. I feel alone. I feel like a stranger inside my own mind.  
Everything is so new that I fear to even search for similarities.
The cold wind reminds me of nothing... the sunshine doesn't bring back any memories to me... the rain does not remind me of long forgotten songs. I don't crave for anything...for I have nothing to crave for...everything is lost.
I can go back to the same old places...visit the same old landmarks....but I shall never find myself anywhere. I died.
My mind relentlessly tries to find justifications for all that I have changed and all that I have lost because of these changes in me. 
It was voluntary I suppose. I wanted the pain to stop...perhaps that itself killed the person that I used to be...and created this new me. 
I had acknowledged my pain...lived in it...with it... taken it to all places with me... It had broken me down... I was a pile of bones...with a tiny bit of life left in me... perhaps my Painkillers killed that pain...and with the pain...I lost the little life that was left in me. And that, I think, was the end.
The feeling of not knowing who one is...where one's roots are...who one belongs to... perhaps this is how the wandering souls feel...
I wonder... I wander... ..."

Clockwork

To be able to reach out. To want to know. Somewhere lost in the crowd. Alone and scared. Looking for a way to make it seem worth the whil...