"...confused...fullstop"

year 2007...Room no. 164, Girls' Hostel...around 9pm...my roommate walked into our room..as if in a trance...and flopped down on her bed. mechanically she took out the environmental sciences notes and started reading it. i could not help but notice that something was "up"...she appeared to be reading the notes but i noticed that her eyes were fixed on a single word on the page...she was definitely not reading...

i decided that i should poke my little nose into the matter...whatever it was....

after hearing her out...i came to a definite conclusion...i told her,"you are confused...fullstop".

well...the confusion that i was talking about was that of "love"...yes...the most confusing of all emotions...i personally haven't really figured it out yet...and i don't know if i'll ever be able to understand this feeling completely...

yeah...my roommate is now happily committed...introspection on a beautiful bus journey helped her get over her confusion and realise her feelings...

but to me...love still remains a mystery...!!

love is present in our lives in so very many forms...as mother's love...as father's protection...as the bedtime stories narrated by our grandparents...as a friend's hand holding our's...and....and...

well...all forms of love are so very beautiful...so serene...so soothing...

but that one Love that we all look for....the one who's supposed to come riding on a white horse..........no matter how much i try i just cant understand it!!!!

I've never really given Love a significant place in my life...it comes last in my priority list...and in any case, where is the time to indulge in such frivolities and loose myself in GPGA!! "GPGA" stands for "gobhir premer ghore achchonno"... a term coined by my friends for love-inspired reverie...huh??!!??

though...frankly speaking...at times...i do wonder how it may feel to be the most special person to someone...to be so close to someone that every unspoken word is paid heed to...every unexpressed emotion is realised in the depths of each others' hearts...i wonder how it is to speak in silence...through the eyes............i wonder...

like footsteps left behind on sand...love is an emotion etched on our hearts...an emotion that survives even the stormy waves of time...a feeling that grows with every passing moment...and the older it is the more precious it becomes...it enriches all our other emotions....and....perhaps...as everyone says...brings out the best in us...

i wish to know Love closely...i shall wait for it......