I don't understand so much...

I still dont understand the essence of my existance.
Am still unsure as to what my destiny holds for me...
I still dont understand the existing System!
Am still confused and scared of myself...
Do i need to stay quiet?
Do i need to keep my thoughts confined to the darkest corner of my mind?
Do i need to loose myself in the crowd?
Do i need a new identity to survive?
Do i need to supress my emotions to such an extent that my heart ceases to beat?
Do i need to live for someone who, perhaps, doesnt even exist?
If living means changing yourself in accordance with the world around you,
i wish to ask you this
Do i need to live at all?.....