Am afraid...

Am afraid of my loneliness! I dont know why am feeling like this all of a sudden...the strange loneliness that i had severed all ties with is back in my life. Its gnawing me from within. The more i'm trying to escape from its fierce grasp the more its tightening its grip over me and my life. i'm trying to be happy. i'm trying to look at the brighter side of things...am trying my best to be optimistic...but somewhere deep down my heart there is this strange hollow feeling...am hating this!
But why?? I know not the answer. Perhaps its just a phase am going through. Or perhaps there is some strange sadness within me, in my subconscious, that i havent yet realised... perhaps it is because of the sweet sad memories that life is all about.
perhaps its because of the truths i havent yet reconciled with. it is perhaps because of some things someone had said to me...or had left unsaid...
maybe i wish to hear something but do not hear it...or maybe its because of what i'd never wanted to hear but heard...
maybe its something i wanted to say but never said or perhaps its because of what i'd said but had never meant to say...
i had thought that i had got over this feeling...this loneliness. i had thought that everything was now falling into place. i'd thought that I was now a better Me...i'd thought that i had been accepted as an individual with all my faults and short-comings...but now am not so sure...am indeed confused! no matter what i do not wish to lose faith in my own self...
there's this one question in my mind now...Do i matter at all, to anyone except my own self?

Comments

  1. its human nature, who loves to see himself in a condition of dishonor, failure, loneliness, ....etc. or more in a simple word, a state where he wants attention of others, no matters if it comes with negative edge.

    we should try to keep ourselves happy........

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah...i agree! But what if trying to be happy or our efforts to keep ourselves happy fails us?

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  3. Actually happiness never comes by efforts........it should be from our souls. But as usual this real world will never allow for it....
    and hence there comes the word..."COMPROMISE".

    no one is happy dear......and that is truth..

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  4. Compromise....is it necessary?

    ReplyDelete
  5. didi your writting skill is fantastic.......and your english is superb........I didnt understand from where you get ideas and deep thoughts........
    please visit my blog and comment on my post so that I can improve myself.....
    my blog url is:-
    www.atmanepad.blogspot.com
    I have joined BCET bloggers

    ReplyDelete
  6. @avinash
    thanks a lot...will check ur blog for sure...welcome to the bcet bloggers camp!!!

    ReplyDelete

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