Sunday, November 28, 2010

balance...changes...practicality...time...peace

and i could keep writing today...hour after hour...all though the day...all through the night.
haven't had a proper stable normal conversation with anyone in ages. not that its anything unusual...its normal for me. am essentially am introvert. very few people know exactly what i am all about. and trust me...most of the people who claim that they know me...are utterly mistaken.
still...there are some who do understand me... n its weird but true that most of them are not the people i had ever been very close to....(ok i confess i haven't really been very close to many)...somehow they understand me more than those with whom i may have spent my entire life (till date of course).
its not that the people who know me dont understand me...quite a few of them do....but most dont. n i dont blame them for it. come on...its hard to know a person fully. human beings are complicated creatures.

i love typing away on the keyboard...without worrying as to who will read this or what they'll think about it. this is my blog....this blog is about me... n i will do exactly what my heart asks me to.
having spent quite a large part of my lifetime in doing what pleases others....and then another small part in doing what my heart desires....am now in a mood to balance the two.
trust me...blogging keeps me strong...mentally of course!!

a long list of complaints....one by me and the other against me. n the world changes. changes....they are required...n these changes should be incorporated happily into our personal world! am ready for changes and i hope to see changes being incorporated elsewhere too. i can see changes elsewhere...n am trying real hard to bring changes in myself as well.

practicality. maybe am a bit too practical. i judge every situation in the light of practicality...n then comes in the adversity...emotions! why on earth can emotions not be practical?
being practical has made me lose enough...maybe i will lose a lot more...
but here too i will keep trying....n am trying hard to balance the two...
just need a little cooperation from the surroundings.

i was told...time is of essence...time will heal all...time will put things right...
am impatient...and am restless... because of the lack of certainty in my life.
i trust time...i know it has healing powers...it has the power to change night into day and day into night... i know time is important everywhere for everyone... but i am still restless...i know not why.

i lack inner peace... i miss the feeling of bliss that once dominated my world...n that "once" was not very long ago.

am hopeful.

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