Thursday, December 31, 2009

Every End has a Story to Tell



Every end has a story to tell...a story of how the end came. Its a story of continuity...the story of life. Like every night ushers in a beautiful morning and promises us a new story, every night also narrates the tale of a day lived. And life is lived between these two extremities...the beginning and the end.

Like the bright sun peeping through the bare branches of the worn out tree...Life sweeps into our selves and creates a story from within us...a real story. its a promise of a new Fairytale....a tale that is spun around us...from within us...and about us.

its a new year tomorrow. And today, the end of this year has a story of its own to narrate...of the joys shared...of the laughter that echoed through the tunnel of time...of the sorrows forgotten and the pain erased by love. Tomorrow is a new beginning...the beginning of a new story.

So, friends its time....write your own story in your own signature style!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010




Imagination: "i miss you"

Is this true? my love, my dream...everything i ever lived for......
no. this is an illusion. wish i could close my eyes. wish this pain would disappear...
the familiar faces...unfamiliar now...
as if, am living in a realm of strangers...in a world as alien to me as i am to them...
Forget it....get on with life. this is just a phase...it will end soon.
consolations...why? to whom? me? noway...am not weak...i can stand on my own, no matter how many times i fall...
have i fallen....perhaps no. but, am hurt...the pain is deep...the wounds still fresh...
i can stand on my own...yes...i can
but....i wish...i wish your hand could hold mine...
i wish i could feel you near me once again...
where are you? lost in time?
busy...you must be...
i remember your face....i imagine your touch and...and i stand...on my own...
i know, i can still make it by myself...but i wish...
wish you were here....i miss you.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

2009 AD: A look back

its Christmas eve tonight...my first christmas eve without my Grandma....its my first Christmas Eve without a lot of things. but i have a lot more than what i've lost this year. My profits and savings count...not my losses.
still let me elaborate on both.
profit and savings first:
there are some people i need to thank. in fact 4 friends. without them i would have had successfully committed suicide(!!) this year.
Prantika...thank you for making me feel acceptable. i had lost faith in myself...n you know why. thank you for choosing me over others. you are the only person who has made me feel at home in my own room. Thank You.
Anirban...thank you for the very many things that you don't even know that you done for me..n i have no words to explain them to you. Thank you for being my friend and for introducing me to a gem, Praveen.
Praveen....thank you for making me feel happy. i wish i had a brother of my own like you. better still, i wish you were my own younger brother.
Sushmi...thank you, as always...for being by my side and kicking me hard whenever i reach the peak of sanity!! Insanity rocks! Thank you for everything Sush.

the year 2009 was a year of changes...of tears...that were wiped by more than one pair of hands. of joy shared by more than i can count. this was a year of friendship, of love...of bliss...of a happiness i'd long lost touch with.
2009 renewed my faith in life.
this year i am back in form...am my crazy self once again...no hypocrisy...no diplomacy.

few complaints....i would rather let them be. its better to bury them in this year and move ahead. its better not to remember how people you trust can turn selfish and purposefully take away from you what you truly deserve. its better not to remember how someone can shut their door on your face. its better not to knock on their door again. its better not to remember rude remarks from the people you considered friends. its better not to remember how they talk behind your back and apologise to you later only if you somehow get to know about it. its better to forget that they refuse to understand you and the reason why you do certain things. its better to forget if they suddenly avoid you. its better to forget and forgive.
Its Christmas...the season of love n joy. its the festival of giving without expecting to receive...
2010 is just a week away...a new year...its going to be a new beginning.
my prayer this Christmas
"Lord, bless the people around me. make their dreams come true. Bring to them joy, hope and love. Protect them from all harm. If they make a mistake forgive them and help them to forgive others' mistakes. Give them courage to face the truth. Walk with them. Hold their hands when they need You. Bless my friends. bless my family. bless the world. Lord, protect my happiness and its source.
Ahmen"

Friday, December 11, 2009

Sayani: the name

"Sayani" in Cherokee (Tsalagi ) language means Zion or origin.
[Cherokee: They are Native American people historically settled in the South Eastern United States (namely, Georgia, the Carolinas and Eastern Tennessee).
Linguistically, they are connected to speakers of the Iroquoian-language family. And, in the 19th century, their oral tradition told of their having migrated south from the Great Lakes region in ancient times.
                                                                                                                        -courtesy Wikipedia]

This is a surprising fact. I thought Sayani was purely from Sanskrit. Meaning source from which life originates. In short, origin. I had no idea that it could have a Native American connection. This is very interesting.
But i have a question...how did the Native Americans and the Aryans use the same word in the same context? How could they come up with the same meaning?
i've been trying to research this topic...have been googling it since yesterday. But thanks to the upcoming exams...i couldnt devote much time to it.
If anyone knows the answers please let me know.
Sayani=Zion=Origin
I must admit, i like the name Zion. Reminds me of Matrix!!

Monday, December 7, 2009

wish i could enjoy the misty mornings

Nehiiii!!!!...finally they are here! yes friends...its exam time again! just 7 more days...n then the torture begins!
exams are in themselves very very horrible but preparation time is even worse...
Preparations=books+notes+scale, pencil, graphs+more notes+a terrible headache!
yep! thats what exams are all about. Mugging up 6 monthes worth of notes, scanning text books for the most uncommon topics that perhaps even the teachers have never ever heard of and wondering what's in the syllabus and what's not!
sleepless nights and early mornings...night lamps and alarm tones!
since its winter, exams mean sacrificing the warmth of our blankets n quilts and dedicating the beautiful misty mornings to our course books.
basically exams are an excellent way to skip meals, fall sick and go mad!
Exams also mean that i do not get to update my blog often...and that is really really bad!
Ok, i know everyone complains but come on...its true...Seriously, exams are not a very effective method to judge a student's true merit and should not be given so much importance to. But unfortunately, the Indian Education System is such that it demands us to dedicate our life to the very cause of giving exams and getting the best possible marks in them.
Now, trust me, "possible" is a very relative term. it totally depends on the mindset of the student, his/her parents and the society he/she lives in...and it is often synonymous with coming first in every exam, u knw being the "topper" n all...phew!
What a life!
What are we racing against??...is it time? or maybe the intellect of outer space aliens or ETs? (oh no!!) :P
What fear drives us to such a level of insanity that we sacrifice our life to a cause as futile as this?!!
seriously,
"give me some sunshine, give me some rain, give me another chance i wanna grow up once again..."

 Wake up Ind!a!
its time to make some serious changes...

wish exam preparations could be fun...exams could be interactive and educative! wish there could be a chaapless (pressure free) environment in which healthy competitions would be encouraged. Wish...i wish...

Thursday, December 3, 2009

i feel it for you

this is my first attempt at something romantic.....its something that's totally unlike me!! but am still giving this a try...
please...please do leave comments.



will you walk with me...?
hold my hand.
sit with me...for a while.
look! can you see the horizon...
where the golden sun is melting into the arms of the blue water?


my life...behold,
have i found you in myself or without?
or did i do as i was told...?


once on a walk when you had smiled
trust me, the moonlight had washed me over...
bathing me in its silvery light.
that morning, when you had softly whispered in my ears...
those words that i live for
the fragrance of the fresh dew on the grass blade 
had kissed me on the forehead.
it was the moment...that moment...
that made up for all the words unsaid...


its a feeling unfelt...
a dream unseen...
if this is love, i confess...i feel it for you!

Clockwork

To be able to reach out. To want to know. Somewhere lost in the crowd. Alone and scared. Looking for a way to make it seem worth the whil...