Sunday, October 25, 2009

whoaa....exams!!

OMG! OMG! OMG! its that time of the year, rather semester, when my brain starts oscillating furiously between pending college work...academics...and fun....
my mind remains totally messed up...too stressed out by tension to think clearly!! yes, its almost november, and am living in the last week of october now. Semester exams are scheduled to begin in december....and i am freaking out at the very thought of it...........omg!!
this happens almost every sem. all though the semester i chill out thinking that yaar kal se padhai start karenge... but tomorrow as usual never comes!! this semester, especially, i should have started studying seriously a little earlier. the subjects this sem are simply horrible!! Z-transforms....omg!! mp 8086 n peripherals....analog communication...control theory and industrial instrumentation. the last two i'll be able to manage. and perhaps analog comm can be handled. but, DSP and 8086.........i seriously need help!
Trust me attending classes regularly and paying attention in class has not helped me at all! In fact, maybe it would have been better if i'd bunked some classes and studied by myself in the library....sigh!
But, hey! exams were never meant to cause such mental disturbance...were they??!! exams were never meant to ruin the peace of mind...
when viewed on a larger scale, exams were never meant to steal a child's childhood from him! parental pressure and the absurd dream of creating an engineer or a doctor out of every kid is ruining the nation's future!! seriously!
but the growing competition has induced in students the pressure to do well. Students have started expecting higher that what they are actually capable of achieving...and they are shamelessly taking to means that make them stoop to levels beyond dignity to acheive such high aims. the desire to outdo others at any cost is eating into our social system.
Trust me, there are a lot of things around here, in the education system, that need serious amendments. Just sitting and complaining wont help, i know, but protesting singularly will not do any good either. what we need is a movement...a mass protest...but alas! hum system ko badalne jayenge toh system hume hi badal dega...
that's the irony of our Democracy!
so like obedient citizens we accept the crude and unjust system and start preparing for a set of three-hours papers that are supposed to assess our merit!! All the best!!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Am afraid...

Am afraid of my loneliness! I dont know why am feeling like this all of a sudden...the strange loneliness that i had severed all ties with is back in my life. Its gnawing me from within. The more i'm trying to escape from its fierce grasp the more its tightening its grip over me and my life. i'm trying to be happy. i'm trying to look at the brighter side of things...am trying my best to be optimistic...but somewhere deep down my heart there is this strange hollow feeling...am hating this!
But why?? I know not the answer. Perhaps its just a phase am going through. Or perhaps there is some strange sadness within me, in my subconscious, that i havent yet realised... perhaps it is because of the sweet sad memories that life is all about.
perhaps its because of the truths i havent yet reconciled with. it is perhaps because of some things someone had said to me...or had left unsaid...
maybe i wish to hear something but do not hear it...or maybe its because of what i'd never wanted to hear but heard...
maybe its something i wanted to say but never said or perhaps its because of what i'd said but had never meant to say...
i had thought that i had got over this feeling...this loneliness. i had thought that everything was now falling into place. i'd thought that I was now a better Me...i'd thought that i had been accepted as an individual with all my faults and short-comings...but now am not so sure...am indeed confused! no matter what i do not wish to lose faith in my own self...
there's this one question in my mind now...Do i matter at all, to anyone except my own self?

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Subh Dipavali...





This Diwali i really wasnt expecting much...was quite down actually...felt like this was going to my darkest Diwali ever...but from somewhere, dunno where, came Light...and brightened me up...it brightened my diwali...the Light was so bright that it engulfed the darkness surrounding it!!

Happy Diwali!!



Showers of light!


















Showers of light...
is it a new sunrise...a new dawn....??


light up my life...






A Diwali special poster..... :P

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Being imperfect is so very perfect

Was watching Wake Up S!d...and guess what...i woke up to a brand new realisation...!!
WUS introduces us to the very imperfect S!d and......Aisha. Aisha's world is a world where the word "perfect" makes a lot of sense...she's organised and methodical...knows exactly what she wants from her life...and she tells S!d...meaning every word...that he is definitely not her Mr. Perfect...but finally old bollywood music wins over classic Jazz...imperfection wins over so-called perfection....and....
"Goonja sa hai koi iktara iktara.........goonja sa hai koi iktara......"
Its a wonderful feeling. the feeling of not being the best. the feeling of being incomplete...the entire essence of our existence lies in our imperfection. we are imperfect, that's why we err. we are imperfect that's why we are who we are. C'on...accept it...nobody is perfect!!
every feeling is a manifestation of our imperfection. our joys...our tears...our smiles...even our hearts deepest desires...they are all a direct consequence of our imperfection. All through our lives we desire to be perfect. We desire everything that is connected to us should be perfect. but, i dunno why, we just fail to realise that very single object, every being is imperfect. see, that's how imperfect we are!! we may criticise imperfection but we love being imperfect. it is imperfection that keeps us searching for perfection all our life. Imperfection helps us to Hope and Hope keeps Life alive!
When it comes to friendship we start looking for perfection in our friends..."yaar...dosto ko toh baksh do..."
and in love we wish to settle for nothing but the perfect person......"hmmmmmmmmmm........"
But does perfection have the same meaning to every individual?? Perhaps no. my idea of perfection may not be the same as yours. Actually it's all in the mind my friend...
Being imperfect is perfectly natural. Its totally cool...in fact its cooler than being perfect!
happiness in life comes from these imperfections. the more imperfect our friends are the more fun we can have. the more imperfect your love is the more romantic the relationship may be...!!
the little imperfections...the faults that we hate and later fall in love with perhaps brings to us the best joys in life!
N'joy life...live it as imperfectly as you can....live life on your own terms...make mistakes...rectify them...fall in love with your life...and just chillax...let life take you on a fun ride!! Being imperfect is so very perfect!!
Realise the source of your happiness...just like Aisha...she realised that her greatest joy lay with her dearest imperfect friend...and
"dheeme bole koi iktara iktara.......dheeme bole koi iktara........."

P.S: if you have time you can waste it by counting the number of times i've typed the word "imperfection"...njoy!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Silence and Words...

Introspection and retrospection...these were the two things i'd been busy with for the past few days. Its been almost two whole years since i had last given some serious thought to myself...and these are the things i realised....or rather am trying to realise...
Silence does speak more than Words. But, only at times. Silence heals. Silence soothes. Silence smiles at you when you are all alone in the darkest hour of the night assuring you of the light of the drawn...
Silence can be more eloquent than Words. At times it expresses more than Words ever can. Silence is the language which can speak volumes without the help of any other medium of communication.A simple gesture is all that is needed.
But then, Silence has its downside too.When misinterpreted, Silence can prove disastrous! Words, unlike Silence, have direct consequences. Words are unspoken promises made by one to another. Silence is a non-committal state where, if given a chance, doubts and confusion may reign supreme.
I feel that maybe...just maybe, it is all a matter of the mind, the most complex and creative feature that God has bestowed us, humans, with! And well, as we all know no one is in total control of themselves. In life there are always instances of regret...but then again there are also enough chances to improve....and a lot to hope for...
Words do have a lot of power...and sometimes they can be a lot more powerful than Silence. Words, when treated correctly can be more soothing than Silence. Words when chosen carefully can heal wounds faster than Silence ever can. Words are the most expressive expressions in our world. Words can also stir revolutions.
But neither Silence nor Words can alone suffice our need to express and communicate...
Actually its very difficult to say which is better...i haven't been able to arrived at a conclusion yet...
till then..like all others...i remain a confused soul... choosing one over the other depending on the situation.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Colours...

Life can be so strange at times!! one moment it can give you immense happiness and at another drown you in the depths of despair...!! Life can be fair to you at times and be terribly unjust at others.
But the strangest thing is this that, if we sit down to make a list of all our complaints against life some would give us a real long list...length tending towards infinity...while others would submit black sheets!
Life teaches us the most important moral in this world...it tells us that the only thing that matters in life is our perspective. Life is a black and white picture and God has left us to paint it with colours of our choice.
So let your imagine fly free...let it explore the vastness of life and realise the existence of being...
Let it breathe in the music of life and drink the passion that gives life its jest...
Let your heart be coloured red with love...
Let your eyes be coloured with the abstract hue of dreams...
feel free!
Run across the vast expanse of green in the meadow...
Sing back to the yellow bird perched on the brown branch of the freshly green tree...
Spread your soul and fly...as high as your imagination takes you!
Don't be afraid...if you fall, God will break it for you!

BCETians are Tweeting!

yes...tweeples all over the world...its time to tweet!! BCETians are very trendy...latest news from BCET is that it's tweeting...there are hash tags all over twitter saying #bcetbloggers...its a promotional venture exhibiting the craziness that BCET houses. The unique idea came out from the crazzzziest BCEtian here, Anirban, and was further developed and spread by the rest...hashtagged bcet blogging is spreading all over the virtual world even as we speak now. Its spreading like a pandemic...trust me!! you need evidence...check out here and here
now you believe me?!!
its 4am now...and Anirban and me...we are still tweeting...hashtagging and following people around in the virtual world...
its all part of the Divine plan to unite all the BCET_Bloggers under one roof...er...i mean...blog. this blog has a twitter account and it tweets the latest updates. it gives the virtual world all the updates that we put up on our blogs and the BCET_Bloggers blog.

So catch us live as we blog...follow @bcetbloggers
dont forget the hashtags!!

Friday, October 2, 2009

BCETians are blogging!!

BCET BLOGGERS
Yes...that's the latest blog on the block...er...i mean...blogger!!
Bengal College of Engineering and Technology is now a hideout for a number of bloggers of our country. The latest count shows that total 13 blogs have already registered themselves..and the number is expected to increase with many other students starting their own blogs...and the more there are the merrier it is!! Its somewhat like a movement. It's the movement of being heard. It's the movement of making BCET heard and we, the BCETians, are the voice of BCET!
Do check out this blog...!!

NOTE: If you are a blogger from BCET do visit this blog. If you are a BCETian...do check this blog...you may just want to start one of your own!!

Warmth and high

Plastic cups lay strewn around. Drinks spilt on the progressively fading carpet had started to dry up on their own. The stink of ashes on th...