I don't really believe in resolutions. Every year i make the same resolution...that of not making any resolution. This year too is not an exception to the rule. Am not making any resolutions. Instead i'll make some promises. And these promises will be made to God...and promises made to God are never meant to be broken.
1. I shall try to improve myself in every way...academics, nature...every way.
2. I'll try not have ice creams and puchka...will try to avoid them as much as possible.
3. I would do my best to ensure that the people i care for are happy.
4. I will not trust anyone blindly.
Thats enough i guess. If any more promises get added to the list i'll update them here!
Monday, January 4, 2010
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Date: 03/01/10 :First post of 2010
To the World its the third day of the second decade of the 21st century.
To me its one of the best-est days of my life...
let me first talk about the last day of the first decade of this century...31st Dec '09. It was a great end to a great year. The Kolkata Tweetup at Mani Square just rocked!! Anirban's James Bond taxi driver...the crazy trip to the Scary House (at Mani Square)...the crazy foodie visit to McDonald's and the super crazy run across the busy EM bypass side road...the mad balloon and the silly Docomo song...it was a MAD evening!!
But that was last year. Trust me, back home that night...i had just one feeling...that of happiness...i was super happy...n a little scared. I don't want anything to happen to this happiness...its just too precious to lose.
On 1st Jan I planned a trip to my Grandparents house...my Grandparents were overjoyed to see me. Got super pampered. Loved every moment of it! My Grandfather took a keen interest in blogging. He loved the concept of Sa'matri'yoni.
And today...finally 3rd Jan. Praveen, Anirban and me...Kolkata was never more joyful...the traffic was never more frustrating...the Ganga was never so beautiful...the breeze was never more pleasant...today was a memorable day. Victoria...the Monkey show (worth 70 bucks!! huh!?!)...the roadside fresh lime soda (Praveen taught me the proper name but i've forgotten it...have to ask him again)...the waaaaaaaaalk to Baboo Ghat...the sugarcane juice...our madness...Praveen and Anirban's camera...Anirban's non-stop photography...the steamer ride...the beautiful Ganga...and then finally "home-ground", City Centre.
It was a day well beyond my Rulebook life...a day i spent with my two most favourite people in this world! Am going to remember this day all my life...and recall these crazy memories when my hair'll be all grey and most of my teeth will be gone!! :-P
Am looking forward to 2010...am sure the rest of the year's going to be awesome!!
Thank you Mr.God...for everything!
Happy 2010 everyone!
To me its one of the best-est days of my life...
let me first talk about the last day of the first decade of this century...31st Dec '09. It was a great end to a great year. The Kolkata Tweetup at Mani Square just rocked!! Anirban's James Bond taxi driver...the crazy trip to the Scary House (at Mani Square)...the crazy foodie visit to McDonald's and the super crazy run across the busy EM bypass side road...the mad balloon and the silly Docomo song...it was a MAD evening!!
But that was last year. Trust me, back home that night...i had just one feeling...that of happiness...i was super happy...n a little scared. I don't want anything to happen to this happiness...its just too precious to lose.
On 1st Jan I planned a trip to my Grandparents house...my Grandparents were overjoyed to see me. Got super pampered. Loved every moment of it! My Grandfather took a keen interest in blogging. He loved the concept of Sa'matri'yoni.
And today...finally 3rd Jan. Praveen, Anirban and me...Kolkata was never more joyful...the traffic was never more frustrating...the Ganga was never so beautiful...the breeze was never more pleasant...today was a memorable day. Victoria...the Monkey show (worth 70 bucks!! huh!?!)...the roadside fresh lime soda (Praveen taught me the proper name but i've forgotten it...have to ask him again)...the waaaaaaaaalk to Baboo Ghat...the sugarcane juice...our madness...Praveen and Anirban's camera...Anirban's non-stop photography...the steamer ride...the beautiful Ganga...and then finally "home-ground", City Centre.
It was a day well beyond my Rulebook life...a day i spent with my two most favourite people in this world! Am going to remember this day all my life...and recall these crazy memories when my hair'll be all grey and most of my teeth will be gone!! :-P
Am looking forward to 2010...am sure the rest of the year's going to be awesome!!
Thank you Mr.God...for everything!
Happy 2010 everyone!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Every End has a Story to Tell
Every end has a story to tell...a story of how the end came. Its a story of continuity...the story of life. Like every night ushers in a beautiful morning and promises us a new story, every night also narrates the tale of a day lived. And life is lived between these two extremities...the beginning and the end.
Like the bright sun peeping through the bare branches of the worn out tree...Life sweeps into our selves and creates a story from within us...a real story. its a promise of a new Fairytale....a tale that is spun around us...from within us...and about us.
its a new year tomorrow. And today, the end of this year has a story of its own to narrate...of the joys shared...of the laughter that echoed through the tunnel of time...of the sorrows forgotten and the pain erased by love. Tomorrow is a new beginning...the beginning of a new story.
So, friends its time....write your own story in your own signature style!
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010
Imagination: "i miss you"
Is this true? my love, my dream...everything i ever lived for......
no. this is an illusion. wish i could close my eyes. wish this pain would disappear...
the familiar faces...unfamiliar now...
as if, am living in a realm of strangers...in a world as alien to me as i am to them...
Forget it....get on with life. this is just a phase...it will end soon.
consolations...why? to whom? me? noway...am not weak...i can stand on my own, no matter how many times i fall...
have i fallen....perhaps no. but, am hurt...the pain is deep...the wounds still fresh...
i can stand on my own...yes...i can
but....i wish...i wish your hand could hold mine...
i wish i could feel you near me once again...
where are you? lost in time?
busy...you must be...
i remember your face....i imagine your touch and...and i stand...on my own...
i know, i can still make it by myself...but i wish...
wish you were here....i miss you.
no. this is an illusion. wish i could close my eyes. wish this pain would disappear...
the familiar faces...unfamiliar now...
as if, am living in a realm of strangers...in a world as alien to me as i am to them...
Forget it....get on with life. this is just a phase...it will end soon.
consolations...why? to whom? me? noway...am not weak...i can stand on my own, no matter how many times i fall...
have i fallen....perhaps no. but, am hurt...the pain is deep...the wounds still fresh...
i can stand on my own...yes...i can
but....i wish...i wish your hand could hold mine...
i wish i could feel you near me once again...
where are you? lost in time?
busy...you must be...
i remember your face....i imagine your touch and...and i stand...on my own...
i know, i can still make it by myself...but i wish...
wish you were here....i miss you.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
2009 AD: A look back
its Christmas eve tonight...my first christmas eve without my Grandma....its my first Christmas Eve without a lot of things. but i have a lot more than what i've lost this year. My profits and savings count...not my losses.
still let me elaborate on both.
profit and savings first:
there are some people i need to thank. in fact 4 friends. without them i would have had successfully committed suicide(!!) this year.
Prantika...thank you for making me feel acceptable. i had lost faith in myself...n you know why. thank you for choosing me over others. you are the only person who has made me feel at home in my own room. Thank You.
Anirban...thank you for the very many things that you don't even know that you done for me..n i have no words to explain them to you. Thank you for being my friend and for introducing me to a gem, Praveen.
Praveen....thank you for making me feel happy. i wish i had a brother of my own like you. better still, i wish you were my own younger brother.
Sushmi...thank you, as always...for being by my side and kicking me hard whenever i reach the peak of sanity!! Insanity rocks! Thank you for everything Sush.
the year 2009 was a year of changes...of tears...that were wiped by more than one pair of hands. of joy shared by more than i can count. this was a year of friendship, of love...of bliss...of a happiness i'd long lost touch with.
2009 renewed my faith in life.
this year i am back in form...am my crazy self once again...no hypocrisy...no diplomacy.
few complaints....i would rather let them be. its better to bury them in this year and move ahead. its better not to remember how people you trust can turn selfish and purposefully take away from you what you truly deserve. its better not to remember how someone can shut their door on your face. its better not to knock on their door again. its better not to remember rude remarks from the people you considered friends. its better not to remember how they talk behind your back and apologise to you later only if you somehow get to know about it. its better to forget that they refuse to understand you and the reason why you do certain things. its better to forget if they suddenly avoid you. its better to forget and forgive.
Its Christmas...the season of love n joy. its the festival of giving without expecting to receive...
2010 is just a week away...a new year...its going to be a new beginning.
my prayer this Christmas
"Lord, bless the people around me. make their dreams come true. Bring to them joy, hope and love. Protect them from all harm. If they make a mistake forgive them and help them to forgive others' mistakes. Give them courage to face the truth. Walk with them. Hold their hands when they need You. Bless my friends. bless my family. bless the world. Lord, protect my happiness and its source.
Ahmen"
still let me elaborate on both.
profit and savings first:
there are some people i need to thank. in fact 4 friends. without them i would have had successfully committed suicide(!!) this year.
Prantika...thank you for making me feel acceptable. i had lost faith in myself...n you know why. thank you for choosing me over others. you are the only person who has made me feel at home in my own room. Thank You.
Anirban...thank you for the very many things that you don't even know that you done for me..n i have no words to explain them to you. Thank you for being my friend and for introducing me to a gem, Praveen.
Praveen....thank you for making me feel happy. i wish i had a brother of my own like you. better still, i wish you were my own younger brother.
Sushmi...thank you, as always...for being by my side and kicking me hard whenever i reach the peak of sanity!! Insanity rocks! Thank you for everything Sush.
the year 2009 was a year of changes...of tears...that were wiped by more than one pair of hands. of joy shared by more than i can count. this was a year of friendship, of love...of bliss...of a happiness i'd long lost touch with.
2009 renewed my faith in life.
this year i am back in form...am my crazy self once again...no hypocrisy...no diplomacy.
few complaints....i would rather let them be. its better to bury them in this year and move ahead. its better not to remember how people you trust can turn selfish and purposefully take away from you what you truly deserve. its better not to remember how someone can shut their door on your face. its better not to knock on their door again. its better not to remember rude remarks from the people you considered friends. its better not to remember how they talk behind your back and apologise to you later only if you somehow get to know about it. its better to forget that they refuse to understand you and the reason why you do certain things. its better to forget if they suddenly avoid you. its better to forget and forgive.
Its Christmas...the season of love n joy. its the festival of giving without expecting to receive...
2010 is just a week away...a new year...its going to be a new beginning.
my prayer this Christmas
"Lord, bless the people around me. make their dreams come true. Bring to them joy, hope and love. Protect them from all harm. If they make a mistake forgive them and help them to forgive others' mistakes. Give them courage to face the truth. Walk with them. Hold their hands when they need You. Bless my friends. bless my family. bless the world. Lord, protect my happiness and its source.
Ahmen"
Friday, December 11, 2009
Sayani: the name
"Sayani" in Cherokee (Tsalagi ) language means Zion or origin.
[Cherokee: They are Native American people historically settled in the South Eastern United States (namely, Georgia, the Carolinas and Eastern Tennessee).
Linguistically, they are connected to speakers of the Iroquoian-language family. And, in the 19th century, their oral tradition told of their having migrated south from the Great Lakes region in ancient times.
-courtesy Wikipedia]
This is a surprising fact. I thought Sayani was purely from Sanskrit. Meaning source from which life originates. In short, origin. I had no idea that it could have a Native American connection. This is very interesting.
But i have a question...how did the Native Americans and the Aryans use the same word in the same context? How could they come up with the same meaning?
i've been trying to research this topic...have been googling it since yesterday. But thanks to the upcoming exams...i couldnt devote much time to it.
If anyone knows the answers please let me know.
Sayani=Zion=Origin
I must admit, i like the name Zion. Reminds me of Matrix!!
[Cherokee: They are Native American people historically settled in the South Eastern United States (namely, Georgia, the Carolinas and Eastern Tennessee).
Linguistically, they are connected to speakers of the Iroquoian-language family. And, in the 19th century, their oral tradition told of their having migrated south from the Great Lakes region in ancient times.
-courtesy Wikipedia]
This is a surprising fact. I thought Sayani was purely from Sanskrit. Meaning source from which life originates. In short, origin. I had no idea that it could have a Native American connection. This is very interesting.
But i have a question...how did the Native Americans and the Aryans use the same word in the same context? How could they come up with the same meaning?
i've been trying to research this topic...have been googling it since yesterday. But thanks to the upcoming exams...i couldnt devote much time to it.
If anyone knows the answers please let me know.
Sayani=Zion=Origin
I must admit, i like the name Zion. Reminds me of Matrix!!
Monday, December 7, 2009
wish i could enjoy the misty mornings
Nehiiii!!!!...finally they are here! yes friends...its exam time again! just 7 more days...n then the torture begins!
exams are in themselves very very horrible but preparation time is even worse...
Preparations=books+notes+scale, pencil, graphs+more notes+a terrible headache!
yep! thats what exams are all about. Mugging up 6 monthes worth of notes, scanning text books for the most uncommon topics that perhaps even the teachers have never ever heard of and wondering what's in the syllabus and what's not!
sleepless nights and early mornings...night lamps and alarm tones!
since its winter, exams mean sacrificing the warmth of our blankets n quilts and dedicating the beautiful misty mornings to our course books.
basically exams are an excellent way to skip meals, fall sick and go mad!
Exams also mean that i do not get to update my blog often...and that is really really bad!
Ok, i know everyone complains but come on...its true...Seriously, exams are not a very effective method to judge a student's true merit and should not be given so much importance to. But unfortunately, the Indian Education System is such that it demands us to dedicate our life to the very cause of giving exams and getting the best possible marks in them.
Now, trust me, "possible" is a very relative term. it totally depends on the mindset of the student, his/her parents and the society he/she lives in...and it is often synonymous with coming first in every exam, u knw being the "topper" n all...phew!
What a life!
What are we racing against??...is it time? or maybe the intellect of outer space aliens or ETs? (oh no!!) :P
What fear drives us to such a level of insanity that we sacrifice our life to a cause as futile as this?!!
seriously,
"give me some sunshine, give me some rain, give me another chance i wanna grow up once again..."
Wake up Ind!a!
its time to make some serious changes...
wish exam preparations could be fun...exams could be interactive and educative! wish there could be a chaapless (pressure free) environment in which healthy competitions would be encouraged. Wish...i wish...
exams are in themselves very very horrible but preparation time is even worse...
Preparations=books+notes+scale, pencil, graphs+more notes+a terrible headache!
yep! thats what exams are all about. Mugging up 6 monthes worth of notes, scanning text books for the most uncommon topics that perhaps even the teachers have never ever heard of and wondering what's in the syllabus and what's not!
sleepless nights and early mornings...night lamps and alarm tones!
since its winter, exams mean sacrificing the warmth of our blankets n quilts and dedicating the beautiful misty mornings to our course books.
basically exams are an excellent way to skip meals, fall sick and go mad!
Exams also mean that i do not get to update my blog often...and that is really really bad!
Ok, i know everyone complains but come on...its true...Seriously, exams are not a very effective method to judge a student's true merit and should not be given so much importance to. But unfortunately, the Indian Education System is such that it demands us to dedicate our life to the very cause of giving exams and getting the best possible marks in them.
Now, trust me, "possible" is a very relative term. it totally depends on the mindset of the student, his/her parents and the society he/she lives in...and it is often synonymous with coming first in every exam, u knw being the "topper" n all...phew!
What a life!
What are we racing against??...is it time? or maybe the intellect of outer space aliens or ETs? (oh no!!) :P
What fear drives us to such a level of insanity that we sacrifice our life to a cause as futile as this?!!
seriously,
"give me some sunshine, give me some rain, give me another chance i wanna grow up once again..."
Wake up Ind!a!
its time to make some serious changes...
wish exam preparations could be fun...exams could be interactive and educative! wish there could be a chaapless (pressure free) environment in which healthy competitions would be encouraged. Wish...i wish...
Thursday, December 3, 2009
i feel it for you
this is my first attempt at something romantic.....its something that's totally unlike me!! but am still giving this a try...
please...please do leave comments.
will you walk with me...?
hold my hand.
sit with me...for a while.
look! can you see the horizon...
where the golden sun is melting into the arms of the blue water?
my life...behold,
have i found you in myself or without?
or did i do as i was told...?
once on a walk when you had smiled
trust me, the moonlight had washed me over...
bathing me in its silvery light.
that morning, when you had softly whispered in my ears...
those words that i live for
the fragrance of the fresh dew on the grass blade
had kissed me on the forehead.
it was the moment...that moment...
that made up for all the words unsaid...
its a feeling unfelt...
a dream unseen...
if this is love, i confess...i feel it for you!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
The 3 Idiots
Another Page from My Diary
29th nov '09
Finally! Finally...I've gathered enough courage today to speak my heart out...uncensored!
well well well...i guess all firsts are precious...
My first home, my first school (Olympus, north kolkata), my first best friends (a boy who had great toys but would never let me touch them, unfortunately i've forgotten his name), Oindrilla...Sushmi. My first day in my first drawing school...my first crush (lasted for a long time!)...my first day in Loreto...
Like all other firsts my first college life (considering that i go for higher studies) is also very special...My first friend in BCET, Puja (met her at WBJEE counselling)...my first day in college and hostel...my first room mate, Nilakshi...my first hostel meal...my first class (physics, NM ma'am)...
A typical College life is supposed to be fun...dancing around trees, lazying around the campus, bunking classes...being the coolest(or hottest!!) person around...basically typical masala type Bollywood stuff! but in reality its very different. you do get to enjoy life in college (specially if you are away from home) but you also learn a lot.
My biggest lesson was the lesson of adjustment and learning to compromise. I made mistakes...got severely misunderstood and misinterpreted. i got rejected...for being who i am...i was accused of pretending...of being fake. Who in the world wants to be rejected...to prevent it i started pretending!
Gradually this pretence started annoying me...and i actually cut myself off from the others. i was tired of life...of the people around me! i wanted a friend but had none. i was tired of oscillating between my real self and the emotionless, practical Sayani that i'd created within myself to shield myself from the world. the worst...well...my trust was brutally betrayed...beyond repair (or so i had thought at that time).
But i guess every dark cloud does have a silver lining...gradually i started getting back my life. i found friends...some old...and some new. My new friends gave my life a new dimension....a new beginning!
And on 27th Nov '09...i realised that i've fallen in love.Yes...am in love. I'd never though that this would actually happen to me..but yes, am in love. Am not in love with any person...am in love with my life...am in love with this place...am in love with this college...am in love with my friends...i love the green grass that grows here on the campus. i love the glass windows and white walls of the buildings here. i love the chilled wind that blows past me...
am in love.
all my pain has vanished only to be replaced with happiness...though slightly tinged with sorrow. For my days here are numbered...just one and a half years are left...........but yeah! am sure, we, this place and i, will be able to maintain a successful long distance relationship...
Am sure gonna miss this place and my life here!
guess am getting a bit too emotional...better not let it get better of me...better end this post here.
Finally! Finally...I've gathered enough courage today to speak my heart out...uncensored!
well well well...i guess all firsts are precious...
My first home, my first school (Olympus, north kolkata), my first best friends (a boy who had great toys but would never let me touch them, unfortunately i've forgotten his name), Oindrilla...Sushmi. My first day in my first drawing school...my first crush (lasted for a long time!)...my first day in Loreto...
Like all other firsts my first college life (considering that i go for higher studies) is also very special...My first friend in BCET, Puja (met her at WBJEE counselling)...my first day in college and hostel...my first room mate, Nilakshi...my first hostel meal...my first class (physics, NM ma'am)...
A typical College life is supposed to be fun...dancing around trees, lazying around the campus, bunking classes...being the coolest(or hottest!!) person around...basically typical masala type Bollywood stuff! but in reality its very different. you do get to enjoy life in college (specially if you are away from home) but you also learn a lot.
My biggest lesson was the lesson of adjustment and learning to compromise. I made mistakes...got severely misunderstood and misinterpreted. i got rejected...for being who i am...i was accused of pretending...of being fake. Who in the world wants to be rejected...to prevent it i started pretending!
Gradually this pretence started annoying me...and i actually cut myself off from the others. i was tired of life...of the people around me! i wanted a friend but had none. i was tired of oscillating between my real self and the emotionless, practical Sayani that i'd created within myself to shield myself from the world. the worst...well...my trust was brutally betrayed...beyond repair (or so i had thought at that time).
But i guess every dark cloud does have a silver lining...gradually i started getting back my life. i found friends...some old...and some new. My new friends gave my life a new dimension....a new beginning!
And on 27th Nov '09...i realised that i've fallen in love.Yes...am in love. I'd never though that this would actually happen to me..but yes, am in love. Am not in love with any person...am in love with my life...am in love with this place...am in love with this college...am in love with my friends...i love the green grass that grows here on the campus. i love the glass windows and white walls of the buildings here. i love the chilled wind that blows past me...
am in love.
all my pain has vanished only to be replaced with happiness...though slightly tinged with sorrow. For my days here are numbered...just one and a half years are left...........but yeah! am sure, we, this place and i, will be able to maintain a successful long distance relationship...
Am sure gonna miss this place and my life here!
guess am getting a bit too emotional...better not let it get better of me...better end this post here.
Friday, November 27, 2009
The Walk to Remember...
It was a long walk up and down the road leading to and from my college...all alone, for the first time. The winter evening was ever so beautiful...
The shops on either side of the road were slowly opening for the evening customers. The most popular road-side shop, the Roll Stall was already preparing the first batch of rolls for the evening! i went up to Roll-kaku, ordered the three rolls I'd been instructed to bring back to the hostel....and continued my walk through the gradually darkening road.
Earlier, in the afternoon, my dad had called to say that my ATM card problem has been solved. So, I decided to check it...and draw out some money as well (fed up of my bankrupt state!!).
So, i began my evening stroll...my favourite music playing on my phone...headphone plugged into my ears....
the starlit blue-gradually-turning-black sky was gladly accompanying me on my walk... and the moon, peeping from behind the shadows...was keeping a watch on me as i enjoyed my lazy stroll.
This place, this road, this college...the last two and a half years of my life...this is now my world. my life now revolves around this place and the people here. My heart used to belong to Kolkata...but now, i've divided it into two...one is in the hustle bustle of the ever-busy City of Joy...the other, in this quite steel city...the place that is so very close to me now. Perhaps its because of the people i've known here and loved. My "college life" is here...the cafeteria adda...the classes...the library....the net lab...the panchvatika...the friends!! everything is here.
two and a half years of my four years here is already over. 2009...another year is coming to a close....and so is my college life............just one and a half years more...after that, i'll never be able to take this walk, there will never be such roll orders...no calls from dad telling me that he's sorted out the ATM problem and no bankrupt me running to the ATM for money(no guarantee for this though)...
life will be different...a lot different from what it is today.
The shops on either side of the road were slowly opening for the evening customers. The most popular road-side shop, the Roll Stall was already preparing the first batch of rolls for the evening! i went up to Roll-kaku, ordered the three rolls I'd been instructed to bring back to the hostel....and continued my walk through the gradually darkening road.
Earlier, in the afternoon, my dad had called to say that my ATM card problem has been solved. So, I decided to check it...and draw out some money as well (fed up of my bankrupt state!!).
So, i began my evening stroll...my favourite music playing on my phone...headphone plugged into my ears....
the starlit blue-gradually-turning-black sky was gladly accompanying me on my walk... and the moon, peeping from behind the shadows...was keeping a watch on me as i enjoyed my lazy stroll.
This place, this road, this college...the last two and a half years of my life...this is now my world. my life now revolves around this place and the people here. My heart used to belong to Kolkata...but now, i've divided it into two...one is in the hustle bustle of the ever-busy City of Joy...the other, in this quite steel city...the place that is so very close to me now. Perhaps its because of the people i've known here and loved. My "college life" is here...the cafeteria adda...the classes...the library....the net lab...the panchvatika...the friends!! everything is here.
two and a half years of my four years here is already over. 2009...another year is coming to a close....and so is my college life............just one and a half years more...after that, i'll never be able to take this walk, there will never be such roll orders...no calls from dad telling me that he's sorted out the ATM problem and no bankrupt me running to the ATM for money(no guarantee for this though)...
life will be different...a lot different from what it is today.
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